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You’re At A Kalamazoo Bar, What Do You Tell Your Mom?

The off-campus bars of Kalamazoo are hot spots for WMU students. They have a wide variety to choose from, like The Library, Los Amigos, Waldo’s; each one will make memories that you won’t even remember. However, if it’s the weekly deals that veer you away from homework, parents won’t be too happy about that. Your phone rings and the caller ID says “Mommy.” What do you tell her? We’ve provided a list of plausible half-lies that you can tell Mom you are doing instead of saying you are at the bar.

Bar: Fifth Avenue
What You Tell Your Mom: “Hey Mom, I’m walking to Fifth Avenue in downtown Detroit with some friends. They have awesome pieces here!”
What You Are Really Doing: Checking out some hot pieces of man and waiting for one of them to buy you a famous Fish Bowl drink.

Bar: Waldo’s Campus Tavern
What You Tell Your Mom: “The game at Waldo is amazing! We got some good pictures!”
What You Are Really Doing: Across the street from the Waldo Stadium… with about five different pitchers around you.

Bar: The Old Goat Tavern
What You Tell Your Mom: “I’m at some old goat petting zoo, the atmosphere is great!”
What You Are Really Doing: By atmosphere, it’s the amount of Goat Punches everyone is drinking, which makes the Goat like a zoo.

Bar: Los Amigos
What You Tell Your Mom: “I’m expanding my foreign language skills by hanging out with friends from my Spanish class.”
What You Are Really Doing: You’re really expanding your flavor choice margaritas and making friends with the co-worker with the sombrero.

Bar: The Library
What You Tell Your Mom: “Yeah Mom, well I am at the Library with John and Claire, we should get back to looking over our rough drafts!”
What You Are Really Doing: You are downing Backdrafts with John and Claire.

We hoped we helped your Mom believe you’re a good student that doesn’t do their own bar crawl every week. We’re not judging, keep doing your thing. But always remember, Mother knows best.

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