Well, this article is coming at a bad time, huh? After the 2nd horseman of the apocalypse that was 2016 (and 2017 by the looks of it), the bar has been set pretty high for anything trying to achieve the status of “fucked up” in the eyes of the general populace. Still though, there’s gotta be some weird shit that’s happened here at UW that will make you go, “Wow, I mean, I’ve seen worse, but still.” Right?
Yes, some of you may even remember that fateful day (why are you still here? Graduate already). December 2012 is infamous for featuring the day that exams almost were but fortunately weren’t. You know very well there was at least one student who passed their class because a 30% chunk of their grade was never evaluated.
This chick is hella successful, and we should probably stop giving her so much crap for her attempts to change the biggest party school in the U.S. into a dry campus. She’s from Missouri, she just doesn’t get it. What right does she have to change us? Wow, it is hard to talk about her accomplishments without being mad at her probable hatred for the New Glaurus brewing company. Fucked up, right?
Fun fact, there was a hospital set up on the grounds of Camp Randall during the Civil War, so it’s likely that many soldiers died on the very grounds that plastered students shout “Eat Shit” and “Fuck You” to one another on. That’s got to make you think, “Wow, that’s kind of fucked up.” For sure, for sure.
Eukaryotes are what YOU are. Seriously, how did they get in? They don’t even look rich either, so affluent parental donations are off the table. Do they even know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell? Absolutely disgraceful.
We all knew Humanities was a brutal place to journey through, but did you know the architectural style it was designed from actually emphasizes this? Fucking weird.
For someone who constantly talked about investing in working class people like her empathy-prop/textile worker father, she probably shouldn’t have been so elitist towards the student body. Also, apparently she didn’t even eat anything at Gordon’s. Like, a UW stamped waffle is too good for you, Clinton? Were you just too full from all those Illuminati stamped waffles you had the morning prior?
We hope you at least got one good chuckle out of this list, because it’s all true, and if you think otherwise and try to disprove us on it, we have SOURCES NOW! SOURCES!
Check out what these jabronis had to say about their V-day plans…