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7 Ways to Completely Piss Off Any UW Student

It has been said that we attend the greatest university in the country. The beauty of the Terrace and Lakeshore Path is undeniable. Madison is a great city. And the quality of education is pretty okay here, too! That being said, being a Badger is not without its difficulties. Without further ado, here are 7 ways to completely piss off any UW-Madison student.

7.) The 80 during passing periods:
Picture this: it’s a rainy day and you’re running late to class. You decide to risk it and wait an extra five minutes for the 80. Suddenly a group of twenty congregates around the bus stop and the chosen five manage to make it on, while the rest of you sorry souls are left to brave the elements. Or, suppose you do make it on the bus. This isn’t much better. Sure, you’ll make it to class on time, but you’ll be packed in like a sardine, breathing in the stale air shared with fifty other passengers. Have you really experienced the 80 if you haven’t unintentionally thrusted yourself on strangers when the bus finally stops?

6.) That one guy who regularly wears a Duke basketball sweatshirt:
You know who you are. You are a disgrace to this campus. We’ll gladly get you a one-way ticket to Durham. Winslow touched it, by the way.

5.) Chem Lab:
Who thought that spending three hours of awkward interactions with feigned relationships would be a good idea? It’s even worse with morning labs. It’s a well-documented fact that sleep deprivation adds to irritability and low productivity with lab groups across the country.

4.) The people who think it’s acceptable to socialize at College Library:
It’s called a library for a reason. Take your bros and circle jerk elsewhere. People are trying to study.

3.) Bandwagon basketball fans:
It’s no secret that the basketball team has enjoyed unprecedented success over the past four seasons. However, it is obvious if you’re a new fan. If you are a UW student and don’t remember the ACC/Big Ten challenge and subsequent defeat of Duke on December 2, 2009, you’re no true fan. We can see right through you.

2.) Van Hise bathrooms:
No matter the time of day, these bathrooms always appear to be in a state of disarray. Have an 8 a.m.? Don’t even fantasize that these bathrooms will be clean. Have a class that gets done after 4 p.m.? Use these bathrooms if you want to experience a human zoo. If you want a pleasant bathroom escapade, we recommend trekking to the nearby human ecology building. You’ll thank us. Seriously.

1.) Whenever people say that Minnesota is a better school than Wisconsin:
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Badgers > Gophers. It’s as simple as that.

 

 

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