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A Judgmental Map of Madison, Wisconsin

Welcome to a guided tour of UW-Madison and the surrounding town that piggy backs off the relevancy and popularity of the university. Like, would anyone even care about Madison if it weren’t for the university? Yeah, we know, the capitol is here, but politics are boring and politicians suck. Madison was named the number one town for college gameday, not political elections. So, that being said, guess where the first stop on our tour is.

judgmental map of madison wisconsin

Click the map for a larger version!

First Stop: Political Alley (Capitol Square)
You got your protesters. You got your locally owned, hipster mom and pop stores, each with their own unique and diverse theme, riddled throughout State Street. You have students living in tiny ass, NYC-sized apartments for thousands of dollars so that they can be within walking distance from a Collectivo. Basically, it’s as Madison-y as you can get.

Next: Memorial Union
We’d love to show you more, but everything’s under construction. 

Moving Along: The West Side 
“Wait, there’s a West side of campus?” Why, yes there is. No, you are not hallucinating due to your brain’s lack of oxygen after walking up Observatory. The West side has all the fun stuff, like Ag hall, where you more than likely have had an exam in and are still to this day perplexed by those desk/chair abominations. There’s also great places to smoke weed on the lake path without being seen. There’s also—oh, shit, there are dorms over here? What the hell, why? It’s like a 20 minute walk back, who would want to live all the way out herein a dorm? Must be sadists.

A Little Further: The Better West Side
Sure it’s still the west side, but not as shitty as that other west side. There’s a giant penis football statue (#phallusyfootball, make it trend) and ya got Mickey’s over there, which is way better than any silly little dining hall over on the “other” west side. And you got Lathrop, where everyone’s just always drunk. There’s a few parties going on now, feel free to check them out and get hella turnt before our final stop.

Final Stop: Sophomore Slums
While technically not a slum (slums aren’t located 2 blocks from Greenbush. Maybe a block from a McDonald’s, but not from Greenbush), this area houses many students who are new to the whole “renting an apartment” thing. They’ve evolved from living in the dorms across the street. That’s actually pretty much it, this place is kind of boring.

And this concludes The Black Sheep’s tour of UW-Madison. Feel free to look over the map a million times, and if you have any questions tweet us at @BlackSheep_UW. We’d be happy to answer your queries and judge you for your complete and utter lack of knowledge in the given subject area. Oh, looks like a train is coming through. Wait, what? Why are there train tracks smack dab in the middle of campus? Holy shit, that train is long. 

Like booze before noon? So do these guys…

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