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Fortnite: Badger Battle Royale Edition

If you have any bros on your Snapchat, chances are you’ve seen a few stories of a screen with some buff-looking, post-apocalyptic cartoon character holding a pickaxe with the caption “#1 Victory Royale” on it. If you weren’t sure, it’s from a hot new game, Fortnite, which leads players into a Hunger Games-esque battle against 99 other players. One of the coolest things about the game is no-doubt the map, though, and we couldn’t help but notice the uncanny similarities it has with the UW campus map. So here’s how the Fortnite map locations would match up with iconic Badger Land locations.

Moisty Mire – Lakeshore Path:
It’s a real hidden gem on the map, just like the path is to Badgers who never wander down its wonders. But everyone who visits surely doesn’t regret it.

Tomato Town – Regent Street:
This place is a real dump, but for some reason people still love it. It’s got a few hot spots, but mostly everyone just loves to see their drunk friend also billowing down the street, or in Fortnite circumstances, a fellow parachuter floating down into the town square.

Salty Springs – Carillon Towers:
The towers!

Shifty Shafts – Tracks Behind Kohl Center:
This area is pretty desolate and intricate. Anyone who has ran down the bike path behind the Kohl Center and alongside the train tracks can attest that it’s a sudden mood-changer and you all of a sudden feel completely separate from campus, with chain link fences and yet another bike shop standing in your way. At least there’s a Panera over there in case you ever get for-real stranded.

Loot Lake – Lake Mendota:
This is obvious.

Snobby Shores – Langdon Street:
Big, fancy houses that were built by rich, early Madisonians along the lake’s shore now left to be trashed by irresponsible adolescent fresh out of their parents’ homes? Sums up both locations.

Junk Junction – Mifflin Street:
No one really knows what to expect when you head down Mifflin Street, but a bunch of broken-down cars wouldn’t be totally out of the question.

Tilted Towers – Downtown/State Street:
The tall structures and plentiful loot help these two locations relate.

Anarchy Acres – Ag Campus:
Both have a bunch of barns, which seems lame, but there’s the occasional gem to come out of both– like Babcock Ice Cream.

Flush Factory – Engineering Hall:
Not only are both of these areas industrial-focused, but they are also both incredibly popular landing spots.

Greasy Grove – College Court:
Anyone who has lived in College Court or even walked near it knows why this place could be compared to a grease-haven. They have Qdoba and McDonald’s within a two-block radius, and if you check out the courtyards on any Sunday morning after it was at least above freezing, you’re bound to see a trash pit.

Lonely Lodge – Lakeshore dorms:
Very secluded, but a spot cherished by those who occupy it Southeasteners always tell Lakeshore kids they wish they were that close to nature, and the Lakeshore kids think to themselves how thankful they are Brad rushing TKE isn’t on his floor with a fridge full of PBR and a lava lamp.

Fatal Fields – Camp Randall:
No, this is not a joke about how the Camp used to be a Civil War training camp (unless you want it to be). It’s more of a joke about how the football team plays on a field. And maybe our late-80s conference record.

Now to just submit this map to the Fortnite people so they can generate this map, and bros all over campus can fight all over campus without having to leave their apartments. It’s a dream come true!

Do our Vine Power Hour, we dare you!

 

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