A Timeline of the Weirdness That Is Open Mic Night at UW

author-pic at UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN  

The newly renovated memorial union is looking more dapper than ever and features new and improved places to eat that look to-die-for. Amongst all the new, the union still keeps its quirky, yet relatively classy vibe it had before the renovation. Why do we say “relatively classy?” Well after a night of studying at the Rathskeller, things got weird real quick. Here’s the timeline of events at Wednesday Open Mic Night at the Rathskeller. You can’t make this stuff up, we’re telling you.

7:00 p.m.: A quiet, naïve, beautiful—best described as an angel—Black Sheep writer scores an outlet seat outside of the Rathskeller and begins to study.

7:16 p.m.: A man looking like a vampire straight out of a Twilight book sits down next to The Black Sheep writer. No words are exchanged.

7:30 p.m.: Tunnel Bob arrives and starts chatting with some Rathskeller workers— damn, it must be nice to be famous.

7:44 p.m.: Open Mic Night set up begins and some nice Beyoncé jams are playing…it seems like it’s going to be a good night…

8:00 p.m.: Some guy in a plaid shirt sings some throwback country songs that he probably wasn’t alive for when they came out. He’s not a terrible singer; it could be worse. (*Foreshadowing*)

8:10 p.m.: Some old guy starts spewing what seems to be some slam poetry about love, or why not to fall in love. The message was very unclear.

8:12 p.m.: That street performer who sings, strums his guitar and plays the kazoo up by the capitol performs. He was promoting and selling his Valentine’s Day CD apparently. His “songs” consisted of lyrics about people jumping out of bushes…a classic love story?

8:25 p.m.: A middle-aged man with a black cowboy hat trots up to the stage and goes on a five minute rant about how Whiskey Jacks and Brocach won’t give him gigs and that the students are the future and need to stop this injustice from happening. After his set it became apparent why he did not receive gigs.

8:40 p.m.: : A guy in plaid sings an original song about drinking with a sheriff. It was unclear if the story was true…it probably wasn’t. The guy didn’t seem that badass.

8:44 p.m.: Another guy in plaid releases his EP.

8:49 p.m.: Tunnel Bob keeps blocking The Black Sheep writer’s view. Come on bro.

8:52 p.m.: A lady comes up to The Black Sheep writer talking about some conspiracy theory.

8:53 p.m.: The Black Sheep writer leaves, no longer naïve.

If you are looking to experience something new, go to Wednesday Open Mic Night at Memorial Union. You’re bound to see/hear something new and leave totally woke. 

What would YOUR parents say about Tinder?