Finals are quickly approaching. That means most of us are probably opening our textbooks for the first time this semester. Professors’ office hours are going to be swamped, so is it really worth going? You could go to a review session, or you could partake in these distractions around the UW campus…
10.) Get lost in Humanities:
You always seem to lose your way in this building at the most inconvenient times, so why not continue the trend? Ironically challenge the anti-riot architecture by boycotting your studies. You’ll be on a whole new level of hipster.
9.) Go for a nighttime walk on Lakeshore Path:
Are you a late-night studier? We recommend clearing your head with a refreshing walk on Lakeshore Path after the sun has gone down. Sure, you won’t be able to see your surroundings, but isn’t that a metaphor for how you’ll feel when test time rolls around?
8.) Take a dip in Lake Mendota:
The high mercury levels are guaranteed to give you superhuman powers for your exam. With that scientifically proven fact, you really don’t need to study for your organic chemistry final so long as you swim for an hour each day in Lake Mendota.
7.) Introduce yourself to the people on your floor:
The school year’s almost over, but do you really want to be the person whom no one knows? Better yet, you can get other people to join Procrastination Nation with you!
6.) Go to the Chazen:
Is there any other time where a free art museum is more appealing than when you don’t feel like studying? Be inspired by mediocre art and pursue your newly discovered creativity in an even more mediocre medium.
5.) Pull a Netflix all-nighter at College Library:
You’ve already taken the initiative to go to a library. That’s an accomplishment in and of itself! Intimidate those that are visibly stressed and are studying hard by smiling at your computer. When dawn comes, they’ll be burnt out, but you’ll be exhilarated because you just finished the entire first season of The Office. Who’s the real winner here?
4.) Look for pre-season basketball rankings and try to convince yourself that next year’s team will be as good as, if not better, than this year’s team:
Sure, it’s a long shot, but so are your chances of acing your Spanish exam.
3.) Compile a list of everything that you need to do, but don’t do anything about it:
Actually creating a visual of your tasks to be accomplished will take a weight off of your shoulders. However, when you actually tackle your problems, this will induce more stress. You’re better off just making the list and then immediately throwing it away.
2.) Drop your mixtape at your review discussion:
Everyone will be so distracted by the straight fire you’ve just released that any studying will immediately cease.
1.) Go for a jog up and down Bascom Hill:
What better way to blow off steam than running up and down the most demanding part of campus multiple times? Oh, right. That sounds terrible. You’re better off just studying.
Like booze before noon? So do these guys…