Top 8 Things to do After Your Final Final at UW

author-pic at UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN  

As you’re all aware, finals are fast approaching. In this stressful time of exam night terrors and Adderalleine (which is when you take a couple pills of Adderall with a Monster) fueled panic attacks, it is important to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Here are eight things to look forward to doing after your finish your last final.

8.) Burn your textbooks:

Okay, maybe it’s not the most eco-friendly thing to do, but screw it. You paid $300 for these oversized paperweights, you get to choose what you do with them! So give that organic chemistry book a Viking funeral and send it to the depths of hell where it belongs.

7.) Complete your teacher evaluations:

Your teachers held the power all semester, but now the tables have turned. Now you get to do the grading. Remember that time that your English professor made lecture run long and you were late for your next class? And that time where you emailed your biology TA about the assignment for next week and they never responded? They will rue the day that they crossed you! Mwah ha ha!

6.) Immediately forget everything that was on the final:

Wow, congratulations on cramming an entire semester’s worth of Biology lectures into your short-term memory in 24 hours. Really, good job. But there’s only so much room for information up in that brain of yours, so all that useless information about double helixes and protein chains has got to go. You’ll never need to remember any of that stuff anyway. Until next semester. Whoops.

5.) Go out for a drink:

So you just got out of your last final. Maybe you studied all week long and you were completely prepared for what was on the exam. If so, congratulations! You deserve a drink! Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe you’re already thinking of how you’re going to explain to your parents how you got a D- on an exam that’s worth 25% of your final grade… Yeah, you deserve a drink, too.

4.) Take a nap:

With the amount of stimulants you’ve been pumping into your body over the past couple of days, chances are that you’re about two cups of coffee away from a caffeine-induced coma. A little bit of caffeine to stay alert is fine, but when it starts to feel like your bones are vibrating, you’ve probably had enough. Take a moment to lie down before the crash happens and you pass out on your bedroom floor.

3.) Try to escape the icy grip of winter:

It’s here again, and it’s colder than ever. Winter weather is kind of like your uncle Tony when he stayed in your parents’ guest bedroom. It’s fun to have around for a week or two, then it wears out its welcome and everyone starts wishing that it would just go away and get a job. If you have the chance, escape to a warmer climate while you still can. If not, pray to the snow gods for mercy.

2.) Hug a dog:

After finals week it’s safe to say that your spirit will be completely and utterly crushed. It’s perfectly natural to feel burned out after exams, so why not go down to the local animal shelter and hug a dog? There’s nothing like the unconditional love of a furry animal to help deal with the post-traumatic stress of a Calculus II final. Maybe cuddling a puppy will remind you that there is still good in the world.

1.) Avoid looking at final grades for as long as possible:

Let’s face it, unless you’re the student who’s setting the curve on the exams, final grades are scary. That’s why you should avoid looking at them for as long as possible. It’s like Schrodinger’s final: if you never check your grade then you can never fail. Or something like that. We’re not really sure, you think anybody who writes for us took physics? Please.

Congrats on another semester (possibly) passed! If you don’t take any of our suggestions then 1.) How dare you and 2.) Just make sure you TREAT YO SELF!