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UW Board of Regents Thinks Spending Money Helps Them Connect with Students

The University of Wisconsin-Madison recently held a lavish banquet to host the UW Board of Regents and show them around the newly renovated first-floor of Wendt Library, that now only features high-tech equipment, known as the MakerPlace (a place where people make things, I gather).

The Board of Regents was treated just like their name suggests, and they were for realz wined and dined. They were served fancy finger foods on toothpicks at the event, that is estimated to have costed thousands of dollars, paired with carefully selected, non-Franzia wine.

According to a report on the event by the Cap Times, regents suggested that they enjoy events like this one so that they can connect with UW students. Because nothing says connecting with students like hanging out in the one library dedicated to a specific group of students, eating scallops and duck, while the student body plots to protest a new dining hall initiative put out by the regents that would put financial, dietary, and religious-practice stress on thousands of students.

“Eating hors d’oeuvres served by students isn’t connecting with students,” said Taylor White, a sophomore studying engineering at UW. “Don’t they know the only party we go to is hosted by guys named Chad who get their dads to buy kegs of Kül?”

In the same Cap Times report, it’s also stated that some of the board’s most recent concerns are with the UW budget. Those concerns were well-represented through the boujee, lavish party to celebrate a new room on campus.

When asked if he thinks the Board of Regents is doing a good job handling the finances of the university, Brady Anderson, an undecided student, said, “I’ve heard that people controlling money do it better when they get to spend copious amounts of it, so I guess they’re doing fine?”

In January, six different regents were treated to an all-expenses paid trip to the Orange Bowl. To get a better idea, all of those expenses were $19,950, according to the Cap Times’ report.

“I was working doubles at the restaurant I waitress on the day of the Bowl Game, just like I had been all winter break. I have to, to be able to afford this new meal plan that I didn’t sign up for,” said Sasha Thompson, an incoming freshman at UW who will live in the dorms.

White also commented on the regents’ trip to the game, saying, “I sold plasma for a month straight just to be able to afford my ticket to the game and trip down there, just to watch my own fricken team play.”

Regardless, these guys know how to party and we should take notes. Or we can continue to just be regular human beings who don’t exploit UW funds to be fancier than any “regent” in Wisconsin needs to be.


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Featured image credit: Cap Times

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