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Guide to Telling the Difference Between Scott and Paul Walker

If you’re an average Wisconsinite, you probably have a lot of trouble telling Paul Walker and Scott Walker apart. One of them was a famous actor, renowned for his powerful performances in such films as The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast & Furious, Fast Five and Fast & Furious 6. It was through these wide reaching masterpieces that America fell in love with Sco-, we mean Pau-…er, whichever one is the actor-guy. Governor Walker’s filmography ain’t too shabby either. He’s been in countless films such as No Country for Gay Men, The Silence of the Minority Voter, and ’N’ For No Climate Tax. To help you distinguish between both Walkers we’ve compiled a list of the differences between the two cultural behemoths.

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Paul walker died in a fiery car crash.

Scott Walker’s tenure as governor resembles a fiery car crash.

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Paul Walker was close friends with Vin Diesel.

Scott Walker, a climate change denier, also loves diesel.

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Paul Walker began his career on The Young and The Restless and Touched By an Angel.

Scott Walker’s origin story, we assume, began by being struck by radioactive, racist, sexist lightning. This gave him the supreme power to deny women the right to their own bodies, as well as instill in him the value of suppressing minority voter turnout.

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Neither of them graduated college.

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Paul Walker was known as a humanitarian, during the Chilean earthquake he visited the country with an aide team.

We’re not sure if Scott Walker can be called a humanitarian, being that it is still up for discussion whether he is actually a real vertebrate human being. His spinelessness was put on full display last election when he fell in line behind Donald Trump after publicly stating he would not do so.

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Paul Walker’s great joy in life was driving beautiful, high performance cars.

Scott Walkers great joy in life is laughing maniacally while stroking his pet AR-15 in front of a life-sized Reagan portrait backdrop.

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Paul Walker is talked about as having an extraordinary work ethic, he never gave any excuses. No exceptions.

Scott Walker also believes in no exceptions….well, mostly just with regard to rape or incest.


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