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UW WiFi Outage Seen as Opportunity to Extend Syllabus Week

Starting on Monday, September 11th, the entire University of Wisconsin-Madison student and faculty body were put under distress as the WiFi, commonly known as “UW Net,” hit rock bottom. Many students are calling it the, “Total Badger Blackout,” as they head into what seems to be an extended syllabus week.

Professors reported seeing a surge of emails flowing in from students all week, most of them stating that because the WiFi was out all over campus, “their productivity level would diminish,” and they’d rather work in a modernized work environment, like their shady apartment above a bar.

“Only two people showed up to my class, so I decided to cancel and head to Whiskey Jacks for lunch and a drink, and it turned out that over half of my students were in there rallying one another to take ‘WiFi Blackout Shots,’” professor of Gender and Women Studies, Sandra Buckel, said on Wednesday. “The bartender told me they’d been in there all week.”

Students called into DoIt Tech Center on campus all week as well, reminding them that the internet was down. Others have been sharing posts on social media that they were outraged that they attended a multi-billion-dollar research university that couldn’t figure out a couple of “waves.”

As of Wednesday, Sept 13, there was still no progress with fixing the internet issue. DoIT tweeted that there was, “no timeline on the fix.”

An update via their Twitter account later that day stated that the outage had been “reduced,” leaving Badgers all over campus running from building to building trying to guess where the reductions were made.

One student gave a statement to The Black Sheep that she walked into her 8:50 a.m. class only to hear from her professor that the WiFi was out specifically in that lecture hall. Knowing she couldn’t shop online at Zappos while simultaneously taking notes, she admitted to getting up and leaving. “I knew my time would be better spent at home where I could browse easier and simultaneously watch reruns on Bravo. I emailed all of my professors telling them the UW Net outage was putting a damper on my learning environment and I couldn’t handle it.”

Another student was particularly sympathetic to the freshmen. “Their home isn’t like ours — they live in the dorms who run off of UW Net. We can escape the tortured dead zones, but for them? What a way to start out your college career, living just like they did in the 50s, just with triple the tuition. Hope they can afford a stamp to write home.”

UW officials are working diligently to mend the issues, stating that this week was of utmost importance to ensure the internet connection was as strong as ever. “As many people around the campus area know,” James Wiltke, UW Community Public Relations Director says, “this Thursday [Sep 14] morning our UW Men’s Basketball season tickets go on sale. The rumor mill tells us stories of students setting up shop with ten of their friends to give themselves the best odds—the only issue is that they all run off the same wireless internet. It’s truly a tough week to be a Badger.” Wiltke seemed to have no response to the probing question about what the outage will do to academics.

As of Thursday, Sep 14, there is no word as to whether the outage has been resolved, or how purchasing Men’s Basketball student tickets went over for the Badger community. 

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