It’s that time of year again, when we get the dreaded email that says Michael Crow has once again decided to . Last year, it was for all of Palm Walk to get new palm trees, because, you know, having broke college students is totally alright as long as we have shiny new trees to make us look like we’re strutting down a shiny street in Los Angeles. Since we are #1 in innovation, here are some ideas for how to make some quick money to fund this tuition increase:
5.) Sell an organ:
Your parents will understand that it’s your body, and that this is to save yourself from even more student debts in the future than you already have. Besides, we can survive with one kidney, right?
4.) Sell your M&G:
There has to be someone out there who needs and wants your M&G. Convince them that giving you cash in exchange for you M&G dollars is absolutely worth it, and that they will not regret it when they can blow it all on the Starbucks in the MU.
3.) Donate plasma:
Biomat USA exists in Mesa for a reason. Donate your plasma and make $20-$50 each time. So what if it’s painful? It can’t be as bad as watching your money drain away when you log into your MyASU and press “Pay Tuition” on the Finances tab.
2.) Become a stripper:
, always has huge crowds and they probably make a lot of money there! You’re totally lying if you say that you haven’t considered this idea at least once before.
1.) Find sugar parents:
Sure, sugar daddies and sugar mamas exist, but how about a sugar family? Disown your parents, find a rich family in Scottsdale, and make sure you become their next child!
Hopefully this list has inspired you to go out there and make some money! Here’s to the tears that run down our faces silently every time we think about the money we’re spending, all for a degree.
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