Percy Percy

Cornell

What Each Cornell Major Will Be Day Drinking Over the Study Period

It’s the calm before the storm–that weird lull between the final round of prelims and the...

Cornell

Cornell Students Relieved to See Familiar Dreary Skies after Three Days of Burning Sunshine

After what seemed like an eternity burning in the hellish heat of the sun from a...

Cornell

A Guru’s Guide to Achieving Self Contentment This Prelim Season

So it’s that time of semester–again. Only this time, tensions are high and grades are at...

Cornell

5 Ways to Survive Ithaca Weather until Summer Arrives… If it Ever Arrives

Your mother calls you. She asks you what the weather’s like in Ithaca. You tell her...

Cornell

5 Ways Cornell Will Give You a Heart Attack (If it Hasn’t Already)

What’s that sharp pain in your chest? Feeling short of breath, lightheaded? Do you feel like...

Cornell

How to Eat in Collegetown for Under $3

Now, now calm down there. Have a sit down, a sip of water, maybe a sip...

Cornell

Cornell Student Opts to Prolong February Break Forever

Shaun Angel-King ’20 spent break doing “absolutely fucking nothing.” He has reportedly forgotten about homework and...

Cornell

Dear Ithaca Wind, Please Kindly F*ck Off

Ithaca wind, you old fucking bastard. Why is it impossible to escape your malevolent grasp? There...

Cornell

5 Signs You’re in Denial Spring Semester at Cornell is Legit Happening

Cornell’s a great place–if you forget about the bone-numbing cold and the depression-fueling rigor of the...

Cornell

Is It Too Soon to Skip Class at Cornell After Just One Week Back?

This is a question that plagues each and every one of us every time we oversleep,...