Brendan Bonham

National

QUIZ: Have You Spoken With Russia Lately?

A lot of people have been in trouble lately, and it’s all Russia’s fault. Those conniving...

National

Betsy Devos Read Good Words On Jim Crow Man Once

Once, Betsy Devos read good on man, Jim Crow. She say, “he good!” Jim Crow man...

Cornell

How 8 Different Types of Insomnia Cookies Describe The Pain of Cornell’s Prelim Season

  Prelim season is upon us. A not-so-wonderful time full of hard work, resilience, regret, energy...

National

BREAKING: Somehow This Stupid F***ing Trump Press Conference Is Still Going On

In a staggering display of evidence that there is no god, the Donald Trump press conference,...

Western Michigan

Freshman Files Class Action Lawsuit Against Valley Dining Hall for Making Her Gain Weight

Many freshmen living in the Valleys feel they’ve been tricked by the sneaky Valley Dining Hall...

National

Pathetic Singles Skitter Out of Dank Cave to Hoard Half-Priced Candy

Following a night of presents and passion for millions of couples across the United States, depressed...

Purdue

4 Ways Boilermakers Can Get Out of a Really Shitty Date on Valentine’s Day

No one expects their Valentine’s Day date to go south until it does. If you’re stuck...

National

Top 10: Reasons You Should Go Out With Me

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and I don’t want to be alone. Won’t you...

Purdue

Bartender of the Week: Jake’s Roadhouse’s Alana

Name: Alana Echols Bar: Jake’s Roadhouse Relationship Status: Taken Favorite Drink: Water, Vodka, Lime or Moscato...

National

Quiz: Are You Qualified to be the Education Secretary?

Today, amongst much protest, Betsy DaVos was appointed Education Secretary. But, can you do better Time...