Stories By Brendan Bonham
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National
QUIZ: Have You Spoken With Russia Lately?
A lot of people have been in trouble lately, and it’s all Russia’s fault. Those conniving...
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National
Betsy Devos Read Good Words On Jim Crow Man Once
Once, Betsy Devos read good on man, Jim Crow. She say, “he good!” Jim Crow man...
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Cornell
How 8 Different Types of Insomnia Cookies Describe The Pain of Cornell’s Prelim Season
Prelim season is upon us. A not-so-wonderful time full of hard work, resilience, regret, energy...
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National
BREAKING: Somehow This Stupid F***ing Trump Press Conference Is Still Going On
In a staggering display of evidence that there is no god, the Donald Trump press conference,...
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Western Michigan
Freshman Files Class Action Lawsuit Against Valley Dining Hall for Making Her Gain Weight
Many freshmen living in the Valleys feel they’ve been tricked by the sneaky Valley Dining Hall...
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National
Pathetic Singles Skitter Out of Dank Cave to Hoard Half-Priced Candy
Following a night of presents and passion for millions of couples across the United States, depressed...
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Purdue
4 Ways Boilermakers Can Get Out of a Really Shitty Date on Valentine’s Day
No one expects their Valentine’s Day date to go south until it does. If you’re stuck...
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National
Top 10: Reasons You Should Go Out With Me
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and I don’t want to be alone. Won’t you...
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Purdue
Bartender of the Week: Jake’s Roadhouse’s Alana
Name: Alana Echols Bar: Jake’s Roadhouse Relationship Status: Taken Favorite Drink: Water, Vodka, Lime or Moscato...
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National
Quiz: Are You Qualified to be the Education Secretary?
Today, amongst much protest, Betsy DaVos was appointed Education Secretary. But, can you do better Time...