Hannah Harlan

National

7 Skincare Routines That’ll Make You Look So Underage, All The Fraternity Brothers Will Come Running!

After relentlessly torturing your liver, brain, and sleep schedule each week by engaging in drinking and...

National

20-Year-Old Senior With Early October Birthday Doomed To Loiter Outside Bars Where Friends Are For Next Month

As a result of 20-year-old senior Matt Sanders having an early October birthday, the young senior...

National

She Won’t Know What Hit Her: Incoming Freshman Expecting to Keep High School Boyfriend Obviously Hasn’t Met Dreamy Jeremy From Theta Pi Yet

Incoming freshman Madison Levy, who has reported plans to continue dating her high school boyfriend throughout...

National

10 Empty Thoughts Going Through a Frat Guy’s Head Mid-Sex

You know that his normal thoughts aren’t all that sophisticated, and you can’t help but think...

National

New Dorm Trend Sweeps Nation: College Freshmen Everywhere Are Trading Their Tapestries For Fresh Roadkill

First it was movie posters, then string lights, then tapestries, but 2018 college freshmen have begun...

Delaware

You May Have Gotten the Invitation to His Spring Formal, But I Got the Grotto’s Wristband

 So he asked you to his formal. He got down on one knee and begged for...

Delaware

Going the Extra Mile: This UDPD Officer Held a Sophomore’s Hair on N Chap While his Partner Wrote her a Citation

This past Saturday, a UDPD officer was seen holding back sophomore Daniela Jackson’s hair as she...

Delaware

4 Years Ago Today: The Grottos Dumpster Couple Graced Newark

It’s been a couple years, but St. Patrick’s Day at UD is linked with one of...

Delaware

Stop Buying All the Discount Tuesday Tickets for ‘Black Panther’ at The Main Street Movies, I Wanna See It!

I’m warning you guys, you better stop buying all the Black Panther tickets at the Main...

Satire

Twas the Night Before Fratmas

Twas the night before Fratmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not...