Stories By Vince Coleman
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Illinois
Frat Guy With Guitar In Room Laments Lack Of Opportunity To Showcase 15 Years Of Classical Training
A guitar in the corner of a frat boy’s bedroom usually serves little purpose beyond nonfunctional...
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Illinois
Tragic: Student Fails To Escape From Murderer While Waiting For Green And Wright Crosswalk To Change
At 4:32 this morning the body of UIUC student, Jonathan Knight, was discovered on the southeast...
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Illinois
Oops: Chancellor Bobby Jones Walks Into Union Movie Night The Exact Moment A Sex Scene Comes On
Unfortunately for the straight-edge losers at last weekend’s movie night showing, Chancellor Bobby Jones was doing...
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Illinois
Heartbreaking: Nobody Listens When Girl Tries To Quiet Down Party For Phone Call From Mom
As high school parties, countless teen movies, and that one Vine with that guy who gets...
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Illinois
Inspired by Vet Med’s Cow, Biology Department Cuts Hole In TA for Demonstration Purposes
For years, the Vet Med at UIUC has been using a fistulated cow, Brooke, to give...
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Illinois
5 Gay Awkward Moments Today’s Freshmen Will Never Experience At C Street
Few stories are more tragic than the closing of Chester Street Bar, the acclaimed downtown Champaign...
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Illinois
Top 6 Places to Vomit Around Campus Before You Leave Forever
Unless you’re one of the suckers that gets roped into “continuing your education” by going to...
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Illinois
8 Ways to Keep Your Moribund Laptop Alive During Group Meetings
When your laptop battery lasts less than an hour unplugged, it might be time to consider...
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Illinois
Alma is Dead: What Stands in Place of the Original Alma is a Pathetic Forgery
Alma is the beloved symbol for everything this university represents, and, in recent years, the lack...
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Illinois
9 Ways A UIUC Engineering Degree Helps You Be Better In Bed
Stereotypically that all engineers are awkward and unsociable, but little did you know that your education...