Sarah Hall

Michigan

Brainwashed By ‘Hail To The Victors’ MDen Employees Set Up Shrine To Random Dude Named Victor

MDen is under investigation while employees wait to stand trial after local Ann Arbor man, Victor...

Michigan

In Effort To Improve Campus Conservation, UM Decides To Never Refill Paper Towels In Ugli Bathrooms

At this year’s Sustainability and Development Conference professors, faculty, and students made great strides towards making...

Michigan

Following The End Of Michigan Time, The Union, And The Cube, Provost Martin Philbert Takes Brass M Away Too

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the human version of Ursula plans to take...

Michigan

Ross Architect Revealed To Be 10-Year-Old With Minecraft Lite On His Mom’s iPad

Recent investigations into whether or not dolphins were harmed in the construction of Ross revealed that...

Michigan

WiFi Stations In The Diag Actually Open Pits To Hell For Freshmen Who Step On The M

You may have recently noticed that you’re now able to Facebook stalk your ex’s new, blonder...

Michigan

Professor Emails Freshman Death Certificate After He Replies-All

Carla Martinez, a professor in the Spanish department, sent out a Canvas announcement early Thursday morning...

Michigan

Girl Sings Lil Dicky’s Freaky Friday In Rick’s Bathroom, Wakes Up In Mark Schlissel’s Body

Senior Emilia Scott woke up mid morning this past Saturday to meet her friends at Sava’s...

Michigan

Sophomore In Ugli Asks Other Blonde If She Would Sell Her An ID Since They Have The Same Shrek-Shaped Birthmark

Katie Collins, nursing school sophomore, was blasting through her printing allowance on the first floor of...

Michigan

Unsuspecting Freshman Attempts To Feed North Campus Wildlife, Loses Favorite Masturbating Hand

As told by onlookers, freshman and Bursley dweller, Noah Greco, lost his right hand to a...

Michigan

What the F*** is Actually In A Mind Probe at Rick’s?

It’s the century-old question that haunts us all each Friday night. You’re getting ready with your six...