Thomas 'Paign

Illinois

Opinion: Ugly People Should Not Be Allowed At Block

Look: Block is an amazing thing. The entire Greek community bands together, united equally in our...

Booze

Kalashnikov Vodka Review

As a law-abiding, American citizen it’s natural to want to have a firearm in your hands...

Illinois

Moving Back In With Your Parents Is Awesome And Not Immensely Depressing

With graduation only about a week away, Illini are starting to think about the next chapter...

Illinois

QUIZ: What The Area You’re Moving To After Graduation Says About Your Relationship With Your Father

You finally made it – after four grueling years (or more, depending on the social standing...

Illinois

If I Don’t Get a Car for Graduation, I’m Never Talking to My Parents Again (Unless I Need Money)

I’ve worked my ass off to achieve a 3.0 in my communications major in my four...

Illinois

The E-Juice is Loose: Why I’ll Continue to Vape in Campus Libraries

Several weeks ago, the Undergraduate Library took to Twitter to infringe on our liberties as both...

Illinois

Not So Pretty In Pink: Moms Weekend’s War on Masculinity

Throughout this weekend, mothers will flood the U of I campus in droves, eager to see...

Illinois

The Transferable Job Skills I Gained From Selling Off My Adderall Prescription

As college careers come to a close for many Illini, many still find themselves ducking questions...

Illinois

Slob on the Cob: The Dark History of Morrow Plots’ Secret “Gay Corn”

  Fake moon landings, grassy knolls, government experimentation, and reptilian shapeshifters — these seem far-fetched and...

Illinois

Making the Case for Gary, Indiana – The Ultimate Spring Break Destination

After taking L’s left and right throughout the entire semester, UIUC spring break is always the...