Stories By Thomas 'Paign
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Illinois
Opinion: Ugly People Should Not Be Allowed At Block
Look: Block is an amazing thing. The entire Greek community bands together, united equally in our...
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Booze
Kalashnikov Vodka Review
As a law-abiding, American citizen it’s natural to want to have a firearm in your hands...
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Illinois
Moving Back In With Your Parents Is Awesome And Not Immensely Depressing
With graduation only about a week away, Illini are starting to think about the next chapter...
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Illinois
QUIZ: What The Area You’re Moving To After Graduation Says About Your Relationship With Your Father
You finally made it – after four grueling years (or more, depending on the social standing...
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Illinois
If I Don’t Get a Car for Graduation, I’m Never Talking to My Parents Again (Unless I Need Money)
I’ve worked my ass off to achieve a 3.0 in my communications major in my four...
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Illinois
The E-Juice is Loose: Why I’ll Continue to Vape in Campus Libraries
Several weeks ago, the Undergraduate Library took to Twitter to infringe on our liberties as both...
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Illinois
Not So Pretty In Pink: Moms Weekend’s War on Masculinity
Throughout this weekend, mothers will flood the U of I campus in droves, eager to see...
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Illinois
The Transferable Job Skills I Gained From Selling Off My Adderall Prescription
As college careers come to a close for many Illini, many still find themselves ducking questions...
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Illinois
Slob on the Cob: The Dark History of Morrow Plots’ Secret “Gay Corn”
Fake moon landings, grassy knolls, government experimentation, and reptilian shapeshifters — these seem far-fetched and...
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Illinois
Making the Case for Gary, Indiana – The Ultimate Spring Break Destination
After taking L’s left and right throughout the entire semester, UIUC spring break is always the...