“Ugh, I hate this school. Why am I being charged for all these random fees? Do I get extra credit for the fact that class is 20 minutes away from my dorm?”
The Black Sheep says shut up, smell the roses, and think about all the cool things UMD offers. We’ve compiled a list of our school’s most under appreciated qualities.
4.) “Free” Stuff:
Okay, technically it’s not “free” stuff–your tuition bill is the real driving force behind all of it–but at least you can accumulate random objects and pretend they’re free.
Free stuff covers a wide spectrum that ranges from kind–of-lame-but-at-least-it’s- free to unexpectedly awesome. The former includes pencils, organic vegan “food,” slightly itchy x-large t-shirts, and plastic cups with mass times from the Catholic Student Center (they’re really great for playing beer pong.) The latter includes tickets for events at the Clarice and guest speakers who probably have better things to do like The Onion . And somewhere in between are the build-a-bears and bamboo plants from the Stamp all-nighter.
3.) Police Who Don’t Care About Partying:
Bizarre as it may seem to us Terps, there are schools where underage drinking is actually enforced. “At Drexel,” a forlorn native Marylander reported, “If they catch you drinking they make you write a letter to your parents.”
Check your partying privilege, Terps. All those posters of “The Gold Code” are proof that that Testudo loves us and has gifted us with advice for partying safely. This glorious institution literally gives no shits about underage drinking, provided that it doesn’t actually happen in the dorm itself (and even then a chill or easily bribed RA will happily turn a blind eye.) 38th Avenue. Metzerott. Commons. Courtyards. Frat row. Off-campus residences are a beautiful buffet of ways to get wasted on any given Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. Better yet, the purple and blue lines literally transport you to and from these parties at university expense. Nothing says “party school” like a bus full of wasted students debating whether they should throw up in the grass or wait until they make it to a toilet.
2.) Ubiquitous Outlets:
Your phone, laptop, or tablet died and this is a problem because you need to check Facebook/Buzzfeed/texts/maybe actually do homework RIGHT NOW.
Thank Testudo for the fact that there are outlets literally everywhere. McKeldin seems to have been designed for the express purpose of charging fancy electronics. No dorm lounge is complete without a bunch of three pronged holes in the wall. Outlets are like food or oxygen–you just need them to survive. They’re like IV drips, connecting us to the life force of the internet. Let’s be honest–if we could plug ourselves into outlets, we would. It would probably beat another semester of diner food.
1.) Five Thousand Clubs:
UMD’s population is larger than many small island countries. The great thing about a huge school is that you get a huge variety of people–which translates to a huge variety of random clubs. Wimps who apply to tiny schools miss out on the Experimental Flying Club, Gamer Symphony Orchestra, and Juggling Club. Only a college as brobdingnagian as UMD can support clubs so random that you literally didn’t imagine they existed before the First Look Fair. If you have a random or geeky interest, don’t worry–some Terp has already made a club for it. Bonus points: if you log onto OrgSync and play a fun drinking game–every time you see a club that serves a purpose you’ve never heard of, take a shot.