Wake up, go to class, go to the ref room to study, go to the CCRB to work off the carbs you’ll be drinking that night, go to Skeeps, go to Rick’s, go home with a stranger, lather, rinse, and repeat. Sometimes sex in college can feel incredibly formulaic. Spice up your next hookup by bringing your bae (for the day) to one of these hot spots on campus.
The Landmark gym is a great place to pork if you’re not only in the mood for a show, but want to BE the show. Press up against the glass exterior so you can look down upon the peasants mindlessly walking in massive packs on South U, like the sheep they are. Be sure to bring lots of protein powder and supplements so you and your partner can get in some cardio and weight training before, after, or possibly during your passionate lovemaking session. Amazing sex is absolutely no excuse to miss leg day.
Who has time for Netflix And Chill these days? If you want to bang someone in Ross, maybe consider Drink Six Shots Of Espresso At Starbucks And Print Out Four Hundred Copies Of My Amazing Resume To Give To Recruiters From Morgan Stanley, and then we can Chill. Keep your lover comfortable by using case interview questions and references to Ross classes as dirty talk. “Oh yeah, baby, how many balls could you fit inside this room? I don’t actually care about your answer, I just need to know how that brain works. Mmmmmm. ACC 301.”
We know why you’re here. To get tested for the flu. Yeah. Celebrate any good news you may (or may not) have just received by breaking into an exam room for a quickie.
A staple found on many bucket lists. Many have fallen asleep here, while few have actually used to location to sleep with another human. For extra brownie points, do it on the table during an organic chemistry lecture. Just tell all of the premeds in the room that “they won’t be tested on this material” and they will instantly stop paying attention to anything you’re doing, leaving you free to go wild and get weird.
Do you love getting dirty, in more ways than one? Do you get turned on when you read news articles about the cat fight going on between the University and the fraternity formerly known as SAE? Do you want to have sex, for charity? Go bang someone at mudbowl. Just do it. We don’t mean in the adjacent frathouse. Get in the fucking mud at halftime and ruin a few hundred sorority girls’ new profile pictures. Make your parents proud. #FTK. Go blue.