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Bartender of the Week: Jake, from Looney’s Pub

 

Name: Jake

Bar: Looney’s Pub

Relationship Status: In a relationship–and it’s Facebook official, so it’s kind of a big deal. Not to brag. No profile pics together yet, but there are some on Instagram.

Major: Econ

Favorite Drink: Yuengling Bottle

Favorite Shot: Jack Daniel’s

Disgusting Drink: Prairie Fire–it’s tequila with hot sauce

 

Is there an alcoholic beverage you’ll never drink again? Why?:

Bacardi 151. It’s just not a good drink.

 

Which living figure is the nation’s greatest drunk?:

Donald Trump. I’m pretty sure he’s drunk all the time. There’s no way he says that shit sober.

 

How would you explain Looney’s Pub to a 7-year-old?:

We show the sports games on TV. And we have ice cream. And chocolate milk. And there’s a candy machine.

 

What’s the nerdiest secret you’re willing to admit?:

I have a miniature model of Looney’s at home, so I’m always at work. I eat, sleep, and work at Looney’s. I am Looney’s.

 

What pop culture college experience is most like your own? Why?:

Dirty Dancing. I’m totally Patrick Swayze. I do a dance routine before every shift.

 

What meme or turn of phrase do you wish never existed?:

There’s no meme or phrase I hate. But I don’t like the word “marsupial.” I like koalas, I just don’t like the fact that they’re called marsupials.

 

What are those corporate fat cats up to now?:

They’re needlessly pushing consumerism on an increasingly materialistic society. This heartless agenda is turning hardworking members of the middle class against each other.

 

Name something sexy that is overrated, and something sexy that is underrated:

My answer is the same for both those questions: Me.

 

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:

Because college life can be confusing and a good satire fills in the blanks.

 

 

Looney

 

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