Bar: The Riv
Relationship Status: Single?
Major: Welding student
Favorite Drink: Jameson
Favorite Shot: …also Jameson
Disgusting Drink: Tequila. It tastes bad, and making it is bad. Making the salt and lime look all fancy is a bitch.
Is there an alcoholic beverage you’ll never drink again? Why?:
Vodka, period. Because of what my friends called the Tyler Shot. Chug a half pint of Five O’Clock, chug a Red Bull, smoke a cigarette. It gets the job done in the worst way.
Which living figure is the nation’s greatest drunk?:
He’s not living, per se, but Hunter S. Thompson will never die.
How would you explain The Riv to a 7-year-old?:
People come here for…fun enhancements.
What’s the nerdiest secret you’re willing to admit?
D&D 3.5 and Runescape sums up my middle school years.
What pop culture college experience is most like your own? Why?:
Fuckin’ Jersey Shore
What meme or turn of phrase do you wish never existed?:
I like ‘em all. …I wish people used the C-word more.
What are those corporate fat cats up to now?:
Smoking cigars, polluting the planet, and secretly spying on people.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
It’s real news on campus and it’s funny.