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Booze Review: Evan Williams Honey Reserve

We admit, we shop for the deals… but this one was great. For those of you who like to mix their whiskey and barely taste a hint of strength in there, this Booze Review may be for you. For those of you who easily get cavities, turn away now. 

 

Smells Like: Probably along the lines of what the inside of the Cheerios bee’s ass would smell like… REALLY f&#%ing good. 

 

Tastes Like: If you poured syrup all over a graham cracker and then you dipped it in nectar and then the syrup got all over your shirt and you had to take it off and the cracker crumbled in your mou–oh god. 

 

Typical Drinkers: 

– People with wings who tend to have a black and yellow striped skin tone. 

– Children under the age of five before school starts.

– Middle-aged men with previous heart problems but still seeking a tasty breakfast.

 

User Comments: 

“I can really taste the glucose!” 

“Did you find this at the bottom of a cereal box?” 

“There’s no alcohol in this, right?”

“Wow, my strep throat is gone!” 

 

Best Described By Holding Down Your Laptop Keys On Two Letters of the Alphabet: BZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

 

What Your Grandmother Would Say If She Saw You Drinking It: “Now, don’t put too much sugar on the top of that, it’s still supposed to be healthy you know! Banana slices?”

 

You’ll Like This If You Like: Breakfast for (after) dinner (drinks), childhood nostalgia, 90s cereal mascots, Kentucky.

 

Is It a Good Deal?: WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS GO TO THE STORE. 

 

Is This the Bee Movie of Booze?:  Well, Jerry Seinfeld isn’t in it, but yes. Yes it is.

 

We Mixed It With: RC Cola (YES, SERIOUSLY IT WAS $0.89 PER LITER, OK?)

 

Apt Anagram: Saliva Elm Win Here Envy Rose

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