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Booze Review: Junior Johnson’s Midnight Moon Apple Pie Moonshine

What more appropriate way to celebrate America once again being great than by getting lit off some apple pie moonshine? Perhaps if you brought a flask of this to your little brother’s baseball game and started a “U-S-A!” chant, but you’ve already embarrassed him enough in his lifetime. Anyway, here’s to the greatest, but most messed up-country in the world!

Grade: A(merica)

Smells Like:

Saying “liberty and justice for all” but meaning it only for particular demographics.

Tastes Like:

You’ll be too intoxicated to even stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance.

Typical Drinkers:

– People who stop reading the Constitution after the 2nd Amendment.

– Owners of camouflage Crocs.

– Old men who can count how many teeth they have left on one hand.

– People who live simple lives, rafting down the Mississippi River.

– Kids with mullets whose favorite snack is a lip of chewing tobacco.

User Comments:

– “This should pair nicely with the squirrel Ma’s got cooking up back home.”

– “ROOLLLLL TIDE! That championship game was as crooked as the media!”

– “Please tell me you didn’t make this in your bathtub.”

– “Hey can you quiet down? I’m trying to hear what Bill O’Reilly has to say about Killary!”

– “Do you want to start an indie bluegrass band with me?”

Best Described as a Drink Superior To:

Real moonshine, because it’s a federal offense to make it at home.

Will You Be Visited By A Bald Eagle After Drinking This?:

Yes. And he’s carrying an American flag, too.

What’s The Deal With Our Relationship With Russia?:

No idea because this is simply a satirical news source like CNN and all the other leftist media.

What A Trump Supporter Would Say If You Told Them You Hated This:

“WRONG. Our moonshine, we’ve got the best moonshine, is fantastic. Yeah, we’re going to build that wall and Mexico WILL pay for it.”

We Mixed it With:

That scene in Deliverance where the hillbillies have a banjo duel.

 

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