What more appropriate way to celebrate America once again being great than by getting lit off some apple pie moonshine? Perhaps if you brought a flask of this to your little brother’s baseball game and started a “U-S-A!” chant, but you’ve already embarrassed him enough in his lifetime. Anyway, here’s to the greatest, but most messed up-country in the world!
Saying “liberty and justice for all” but meaning it only for particular demographics.
You’ll be too intoxicated to even stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance.
– People who stop reading the Constitution after the 2nd Amendment.
– Owners of camouflage Crocs.
– Old men who can count how many teeth they have left on one hand.
– People who live simple lives, rafting down the Mississippi River.
– Kids with mullets whose favorite snack is a lip of chewing tobacco.
– “This should pair nicely with the squirrel Ma’s got cooking up back home.”
– “ROOLLLLL TIDE! That championship game was as crooked as the media!”
– “Please tell me you didn’t make this in your bathtub.”
– “Hey can you quiet down? I’m trying to hear what Bill O’Reilly has to say about Killary!”
– “Do you want to start an indie bluegrass band with me?”
Best Described as a Drink Superior To:
Real moonshine, because it’s a federal offense to make it at home.
Will You Be Visited By A Bald Eagle After Drinking This?:
Yes. And he’s carrying an American flag, too.
What’s The Deal With Our Relationship With Russia?:
No idea because this is simply a satirical news source like CNN and all the other leftist media.
What A Trump Supporter Would Say If You Told Them You Hated This:
“WRONG. Our moonshine, we’ve got the best moonshine, is fantastic. Yeah, we’re going to build that wall and Mexico WILL pay for it.”
We Mixed it With:
That scene in Deliverance where the hillbillies have a banjo duel.