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Booze Review: Lucid Absinthe Supérieure

 

As the first brand of absinthe approved for sale in the U.S. after the drink was banned in the U.S. in 1912, Lucid has a lot to live up to. Does this version of the legendary Green Fairy, beloved by impressionist painters and French aristocrats, meet the expectations? I have no idea! My memory is shot! Yesterday is only a number on the calendar for me, but here’s what my roommates tell me that I had to say about the drink before the Green Fairy whisked me away:

 

Grade: ?

 

Alcohol %: On the bottle, 62%, but laboratory tests put the number closer to 66.6%

 

Smells Like: The devil’s lipstick, the shampoo the moon goddess uses, licorice if licorice was boiled in liquid sin.

 

Tastes Like: The melted down essence of every Disney villain that ever scared you as a kid, mixed with the madness that slithers out from the darkest part of your mind when you drive on a rural highway at night.

 

Typical Drinkers: Very sad artists, 19th century French people lost in time, actual fucking warlocks, that bartender with the suspenders and the crazy moustache.

 

User Comments:
– “Help me help me help me.”
  “This will help me paint better, whoops I fell into a dimension of pure angst and cosmic dread again.”
– “Mon dieu!”

 

You’ll Like This If You Like: Suffering, Paris, the sweet release of death.

 

Common Food Pairing Suggestion: Literally anything so that you don’t die. Anything at all. Bugs? Old homework? Your feelings? All solid picks.

 

What The Attractive Person At The End of The Bar Would Say If They Saw You Drinking This: Are you okay?

 

Van Gogh Rating: Vincent loved it so much! He really talked our ear off about it.

 

Absinthe is a lovely drink when you’re looking to kick back at the end of the day and let your mind recede into an everlasting pool of darkness. It’s great to share with friends too, if no one really gives a shit about silly things like “memories” or “a grip on sanity!”

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