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Booze Review: Pastis

There’s always that one friend who studies abroad and comes back touting one special type of alcohol that you can only buy in so-and-so country, and it’s so good and I can’t believe you don’t have this in America and I only could fit one bottle next to the rest of my souvenirs and Hey, why are you wasting all my special alcohol by puking it on the floor and I can’t help it’s an acquired taste and I’m not inviting you over anymore, Stephen.

 

Grade: D

 

Smells Like: Every other anise-flavored (black licorice) liquor in existence. You’re not special for choosing to use anise as your main ingredient, Pastis inventor. Jäger? Absinthe? Yeah, maybe move on to some other flavor, like cotton candy or chocolate and stop using literally the worst taste ever discovered.

 

Tastes Like: Well whaddya know, it tastes like black licorice. Also, bad.

 

Typical Drinkers: French people. It’s from France, specifically the southern region. Also, people who have studied abroad in that specific region.

 

User Comments:

 

– “Wow, another black licorice-flavored liquor. How original.”

– “You gotta try this stuff, it’s from France.”

 

You’ll like this if you like: Sambuca, Ouzo, Jägermeister, Absinthe (hint hint, all taste like black licorice).

 

What Your Friend Who Studied Abroad Would Say if He Saw You Drinking This: “I knew you would like it! What are you doing?! Stop, here’s a trashcan! You’re cleaning this up…”

 

Common Food Pairing Suggestions: French food, baguettes, cheese, wine (yeah, more alcohol).

 

We Mixed it with: Water. Not kidding. Mixing anise-type liquor with water creates a really cool effect (commonly called the Ouzo effect), which changes the opacity from clear to opaque very quickly. Ice will also do the trick, but the bottle of Pastis literally just recommended diluting it. (“Hey, this tastes so bad that if we tell them to water it down, no one will notice!” – the makers of Pastis, probably.)

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