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Booze Review: TY KU Sake Black

The Japanese have produced a lot of weird stuff, namely thousands of niche fetish pornos. But if you’re trying to get a taste of the culture without getting malware on your computer, you ought to give TY KU Sake Black a try. It’s “Junmai Ginjo,” which a quick Google search shows is either high-grade sake or some kinky sex position. Either way we’re about it.

Grade: A-

Smells Like:

Someone dumped a bouquet of flowers in booze. We like the way they think.

Tastes Like:

A way to get cultured and a terrible hangover at the same time.

Typical Drinkers:

– That weird kid from high school who’d seen every episode of Naruto at least 3 times.

– People that think it’s acceptable to eat sushi bought from a gas station.

– Guys who call their “totally real and not made up” girlfriends “Waifu.”

– Goldman Sachs employees on a business trip in Japan who’ve already run out of cocaine.

User Comments:

– “God Bless the Japanese, honestly. It’s a shame about that whole Godzilla thing.”

– “Do you think college kids in Japan do bag slaps of sake instead of shitty wine?”

– “Sake to me! Haha, get it?”

– “Konichiwa Chris-son. You look very kaiwaii today. Annnnd I’m already out of Japanese words.”

– “Does putting this stuff in cup o’ noodles equate to authentic Japanese cuisine?”

Best Described as a Drink Superior To:

Living in a country where almost no one wants to have sex with one another.

What Even Is Sake?:

It’s essentially wine that’s made with rice instead of grapes. We’d like to think Japanese soccer moms get messed up on it on the weekends.

How Strong Is It?:

With an alcoholic content of 15%, it’s pretty strong. That’s over 3 Natty Lights, for the frat bros reading this.

We Mixed It With:

An intense game of Yu-Gi-Oh! Watch out for the Trap Card!

 

 

WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.

 

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