Connect with us
Connect with us


Clubs at GVSU You Actually Joined


Going into college your freshman year, you were pretty adamant about the type of organizations you wanted to get involved in. We sure were!


As you now know, or at least will soon find out, your dumbass freshman mind was way off. Otherwise you’d probably be the president (and “coolest” person on campus) of the NERF Club.




Remember how you were going to be all “athletic” and “stay in shape” during your time in college? Well that dream died three days after you tried to be part of the intramural soccer team. You thought you were pretty good in high school so you gave it a chance in college and blew it big time. Rather than reliving the horrors of being a failure on a daily basis, you instead picked up a less intense “sport” and are now captain of the League of Legends team. If you sweat, it’s a sport…right?




While in middle school, you always dreamed of being able to reenact medieval life because of your obsession with Runescape. All of the cool kids in middle school played it, including you, so it must be super cool to do it in real life!



Screen Shot 2015-09-25 at 4.10.25 PM


Well, you thought that you would join the Renaissance Festival Club to do some cosplay and… well, let’s just say it probably isn’t a good fit. Because you still wanted some social interaction, the Quidditch team was the perfect fit for you. Shouting obscenities and occasionally crying while running with a broom between your thighs counts as “being social,” and participating in a “sport,” right?


Screen Shot 2015-09-25 at 4.14.32 PM


Volunteering during high school was almost mandatory if you wanted to get into a good college. People were a part of NHS, Key Club, and all of those other organizations that looked great on a college application. The thing is, you don’t like volunteering anymore, especially since you aren’t worried about future grad school applications (because we all know you can’t get into a grad school with your 2.45 GPA, bud). But at least you have your truck to keep you company in the absence of the grad school application. 


Wait, you have a truck and you like trucks? That means Truck Club has opened its doors to you and your Silverado! Luckeeeyyyyyy.




Were you one of those overachievers who were involved in everything in high school? The kid that somehow was president of four clubs, founder of another two, and the state commissioner for a multi-national NGO non-profit? Well, after all those years of actually caring and “going outside,” you’re pretty tired.


You don’t really want to commit all of your free time to some organization that will only give you a certificate of participation in return. You may wonder: “What is the best club for me?” Well, that would be not being involved at all! Think about it – no time commitment, no people interaction, and as much sleeping time as you can imagine. Great isn’t it?


Want our advice? Leave any club you joined this year and sit at home online instead. It’s better for your moral fiber anyway.


Regardless of who you were in middle and high school, we all know now that you’ve pretty much become a lazy sack of shit. But that’s okay! You’ll find that college has all sorts of activities ranging from those with social ineptness, all the way to people that have no ambition to get out of bed each day. Either way, you’ll find that you’ve changed, probably for the worse, but in the end, all that matters is that your resumé is going to stand out of the crowd with “Truck Club – President” bolded right on top of it. Nice.


Continue Reading

More from Booze

To Top