As summer approaches and it doesn’t hurt your skin to be outside, we face a hard decision: rally all day or party all night — sip on a tropical trashcan at 1 p.m. or rip tequila shots at 1 a.m. Let’s evaluate the pros and cons.
Pro: The Shades.
This is the prime time that you get to slip on those Ray Ban Wayfarers and people watch (read: keep an eye on your ex-boyfriend schmoozing up Kate from across the patio) and they can’t even see you. BOOM.
Con: The Stale Drunk.
You’re still drunk from the night before, meaning your hangover just gets prolonged and amplified for later. It’s called the “Shampoo Effect” and it’s awesome at first, then steadily gets shittier.
Pro: The Weather.
Who doesn’t want to drink and lounge around in the afternoon when it’s sunny and 75? If you don’t, you’re either crazy or a soulless ginger. Plus it’s just nice to not stumble around in the dark, talking up a tree because you think it’s Joe, that quiet, branchy kid from freshman year.
Con: The Other Bars are Dead.
Who would’ve thought that CJ’s at 7 p.m. would be dead? You can see the tumbleweeds pass across the sticky floor when you head here, or maybe that’s because you’re already six Keystones deep. You have two options for the lineup: beat or broken. Ahh you’re so constrained.
Pro: The Tan.
You better be ready for that beautiful Chubbie tan line that you’re about to get, and ladies, that Free People bralette tan line is going to look oh so fab on you. It’s like tanning, but instead of sleeping in public half-naked like a weirdo, you’re enjoying a wonderful darty.
Con: That 8 o’clock hangover.
Let’s face it, no one wants to be hungover when you should be pregamming. But after a darty, you’re posted up in bed, blinds closed, Netflix on and trashcan within reach.
Pro: The Fancy Clothes.
Everyone loves getting all decked out in the Tobi apparel for the night scene at Ox. Darties fashion is mostly all the same — shorts and jerseys/tanks — but people get fancy for the night. Real fancy.
Con: The 10 a.m. class.
We know, it’s so weird that we actually have to go to classes. Nothing puts a damper on the night like having to walk back at 1 a.m. because you’ve got a 10 a.m. psych class and don’t feel like being still-drunk during it (again).
Pro: The Specials.
You can’t beat all of the drink specials that happen when the sun goes down. Half price sushi rolls and two-dollar double wells at Nara anyone?
Con: The Darkness.
Walking back at night drunk is not fun at all, especially by yourself. How are you supposed to be able to find your way back from McCullough-Hyde when it’s pitch black outside?
Pro: The Plethora of Bars.
From CJs to Brick all the bars are poppin’ and the crowd is different for each. The world is literally your oyster. Your drunk, booze-filled oyster.
Con: The Crowd.
With the popularity of every bar in Oxford comes the crowd. One moment it’s Saturday and you want to pop into Brick for a quick trashcan and the next thing you know you’re on a bus heading to Talawanda prom.
Day and night drinking each have their pros and cons, but hopefully this has helped sort out the decision more than “at what point in the day is it socially acceptable for me to be drunk?” The answer to that question lies only in your heart, and maybe whether or not you feel like accidentally going to Talawanda prom.