Relationship Status: Single as hell
Major: Political science
Favorite Drink: Malort on the rocks
Favorite Shot: Bourbon
Disgusting Drink: Jack Daniel’s
What’s going to be all the drinkin’ rage this school year?: What do you mean.
Where’s the best place for a sneaky makeout sesh in Kelly’s?: On my lap, just kidding. In the bathroom, that’s why the line is always so long. Okay no, on top of the bar let’s give the people a show. Please, don’t actually do that…
What’s the best thing that happened to you this summer?: I found God.
What’s something you wish someone told you when you were a freshman?: Bring your own booze to house parties because the jungle juice is for sure going to run out in the first five minutes.
Which 2 swear words are best put together?: Pecker sucker.
What is the laziest way to avoid the freshman 15?: Encourage your roommate to get the freshman 30.
What is the spirit animal of your most sexual fantasy?: Beluga whale.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?: Wait this isn’t an interview to work at Starbucks? I thought my barista career was about to take off.