March Madness: the crown jewel of college sports. A time where a love of basketball does not need to be contained and the word “bracket” finally finds its way into an everyday conversation. Above all, though, you just found yourself yet another reason to drink like a motherfucker. As you watch a bunch of tall people dribble a ball down a court and shit, allow us to give you some inspiration to get that liquor flowing.
Take a Drink When:
-Someone makes a basket.
-Someone misses a basket.
-Someone steals the ball.
-There’s a foul.
-There’s a commercial for Buffalo Wild Wings.
-Fans in the crowd notice they’re on camera and follow this by doing something that kind of makes them look like a douchebag.
Take a Shot When:
-Someone falls to the ground in attempt to get their opponent a foul.
-Someone makes a half-court shot in attempt to beat the buzzer…that shit has worked like four times ever.
-You notice some player is wearing a different pair of shoes than the rest of their teammates.
-There’s a timeout.
-Someone fouls out.
-A coach yells until they’re red in the face.
-There’s a slam-dunk.
-Someone says something borderline incompetent in an interview (actually maybe don’t do that…if you’re watching a game featuring an SEC team, you may get alcohol poisoning).
Finish You Drink If:
-Your bracket completely goes to shit because some first seed team ruined everything…or for whatever reason, really…honestly losing sucks and you should drink to that.
-Your bracket rocks because you had faith in a team no one expected anything from and you end up beating everyone you made one with… or for whatever reason, really…honestly winning is awesome and you should drink to that.
-Your team wins.
-Your team loses.
-A fight breaks out.
-You have no idea what’s going on at all and you’re just trying to do anything at all to enjoy the experience that is watching basketball.
The Game Ends When: You’ve transitioned from watching basketball to making a complete fool of yourself. On second thought, that’s when the real game’s just begun.