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Pitt Activities Fair 2015: From Queen Bee to SSB

The sun rises over the depths of South Oakland, awakening all those brave enough to encounter the Sunday morning after the first weekend back for most Pitt students. With a somewhat cruel twist, the annual campus Activities Fair befalls on this day of respite. Upperclassmen however know this event as an overcrowded waste of time and it is avoided by most. The turnout at the Pete never fails to make you question how much oxygen is necessary for each of us to remain upright in such close quarters. The general aesthetic is freshman in search of free condoms and swag bags, but lo and behold, The Black Sheep’s discovery of several promising clubs we had no idea existed gave us both hope and concern.


First and foremost, the Beyoncé Appreciation and Humanitarian Club (BAHC) is a beacon of light in an overcrowded gymnasium. Yes, this club exists and is legitimately recognized by the Student Organization Resource Center. The BAHC is founded on the principles of appreciation for Beyoncé’s musical genius as well as her talents and good deeds. The members of this organization attempt to perpetuate Queen B’s philanthropic endeavors through their own lives. And by this point, you probably don’t even need to continue looking for other clubs to join if you know what’s good for you. Bow down bitches.


To continue the streak of basicity, perhaps the Gluten Free Awareness League is also for you. This club glorifies the bob-haircut soccer moms who only shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s. Ok, ok, we’re only kidding, but if you don’t have a medical condition restricting you from consuming gluten and still join this club, take a good look at that bob-haircut. It is your future.


While a good number of clubs are a good place to socialize and meet people outside of the classroom, there are a growing number of clubs for people who don’t want to deal with reality/social situations/being in a club. Whether you want to avoid humanity by making Super Smash Bros. your life’s purpose or play League of Legends until you forget that you actually have obligations, there’s a club for both.


Some folks are willing to go Fly Fishing as an organized group (Where? is the real question) and there are those who find quietly folding squares of paper into origami to be a social event. There’s even a group where a bunch of nerds half-assedly write lowbrow pieces of satire for the amusement of other people! Wait…


All in all, the activities fair assists you in discovering your interests by providing you with a million things you never knew you didn’t want to do. Maybe you came for free stuff, maybe you came to actually get involved, but we certainly won’t judge you if you only went to watch the men’s water polo team gallivant around in their Speedos.

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