Pots’ happy hour: a magical place where the local over-worked, under-sexed college student can go to drown the week’s problems in Y-Bombs, Mexican cuisine, and most importantly, puppy-lovin.’
However as of late, dogs are not the only animals to bee seen at Pots’ happy hour. Student, Bridget Callahan, was interviewed during last week’s happy hour for the thirty seconds she was able to put her vodka water down to comment on the animal situation. “I’m sitting here. Right here,” she told us pointing at the floor mat, “and I’m just looking at the wall, because that wall over there is so pretty, and then this guy blocks my view and he’s holding a giant snake. No I’m not kidding, it was a freaking snake.” It was later confirmed that these were not the rantings of an inebriated student and that, in fact, there was a snake at the bar.
Many other students have reported seeing iguanas, parrots, and even a domesticated monkey. Some believe the animals were brought by some of the local fraternity brothers in a misguided attempt to get some action from the attention, but nevertheless, the phenomenon has been gaining campus-wide recognition, and even a little national recognition. John Thrasher recently broke wind got wind, of what was going on at Pots, and was so delighted to hear the news that plans are being drawn up to make Pots a future part bar-part petting zoo.
“I was driving down Copeland, I saw all of the animals and the students outside of Pots and thought, how could I not make this a petting zoo? For years I’ve tried to get a petting zoo on this campus, I love animals, I love them so so much, but the administration always shuts me down, just like they did when I tried to have ‘Giraffe, Horse and Dog Dayz’ at Doak. But students and cute lil’ puppies mingling at the bar? I love it!”
PETA was also extremely enthused by the news and has subsequently developed an entirely different philosophy, offering to cater Pots’ next Mystery Meat Happy Hour Stand. Thrasher and PETA working together on a project, what could go wrong?
To add to the excitement Pots has developed new drink specials. “Bring a dog get a drink half off.” “Come with a chameleon, get a free Cosmo.” “Wednesday nights ladies and goats get in free, guys only pay $5!”
Pots bouncers have said that the new zoo aspect of the bar has increased costumer base percentage significantly. “We actually prefer the animals; they’re overall well-behaved and don’t throw a bitch-fit over IDs.”
For those who may be concerned about the safety of the animals (mostly the puppies, let’s be real) don’t be. Their inebriated owners are still coherent enough to recognize their animal’s needs. They make sure to regularly hydrate their animal by allowing them to indulge in their alcoholic beverages, because we all know, dogs are people too!
We can attribute this fame to our forward thinking students who defy the very laws of nature to show their pets a good time. Without them, animals all over campus would be left to suffer the fate of residing in their monotonous natural habitats, rather than partyin’ with a bunch of drunk college students.