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The Black Sheep’s Guide to Where You Went Last Night

After maybe-still-drunkenly stumbling into the shower on a Friday morning, it might dawn on you you’re not exactly sure which fine establishment doomed you to this hangover. Well we at The Black Sheep, like a bunch of drunk Inspector Gadgets with exploding diarrhea clues,have foolproof guide to tell you which Ohio State bars you went to last night.


Big Bar:
If you have a mini Picasso X on your hands odds are you’re a thirsty freshman without a fake id, and decided to go balls to the wall to pay the 10$ cover at Big Bar. On the other hand, if you’re a different-kind-of-thirsty upper classmen taking that shower in Morrill, you ended up at the only place freshmen frequent more than the dining halls: Big Bar.


If you woke up with a schooner sitting on your nightstand, you ended up at Chumley’s. They’re strict on fake ids and cater only to the experienced boozers of Ohio State. You drank with the best of us last night, but those cheap refills are what kept you in bed until 2p.m.


The O Patio (Fratio):
Did you wake up with a bid from three different fraternities? The O is the place to see and be seen for OSU Greeks who all share their favorite chant, “Lets Go To The O!” Don’t worry though, you don’t have to go to the BBQ that totally chill bro invited you to last night.


4th Street:
Think hard, do you at any point in time remember hearing gun shots last night? As we all know the farther you venture past 4th Street the chancier the atmosphere gets. While it’s the farthest bar from campus, 4th Street is a campus favorite place amongst students to watch the Buckeyes kick some Big 10 ass, even if it means dodging a few literal bullets on the way there.


The Library:
Wake up with a musty scent of the 70s? The bar of our parents. The Library. Yes, a bar called the library. Most bars go for the “cool” atmosphere, The Library goes for the “grooviest.” If you have texts saying “WTF man I thought you were studying at the library last night? DAMN YOU SEMANTICS!!!” you were here.


Do you recall walking out of the bathroom naked and looking for your PJs because you thought you were in your walk-in closet? This is without a doubt Formaggio. One of the most popular bars on campus, it fills up faster than Ohio Stadium on a Saturday afternoon.


Were you feeling like living the ratchet life for just a night? Was half the crowd twerking upstairs, while the other half wondered why there were there? Yeah, you were totally twerking last night, you were at Midway you sexy bastard.


Ethyl and Tank:
When you spend half the night playing PacMan… you’ve been to Ethyl and Tank — commonly referred to as just Ethyl. You probably wanted to check out the newest bar on campus at Ohio State, then got sucked into a nostalgia vortex of draft beer and arcade games.


Waking up with a dart in your hand and a test tube in your pocket… You either went to Out-R-Inn or that really sketchy strip club off the highway. You graced one of the oldest bars on campus with your presence, unleashed some long-repressed competitiveness in a dart game, then bought a round of test tube shots to apologize for throwing darts at your competition.


There will be nights when you go to the bar and spend the entire night staring at Twitter not on your phone, but on the TV. No, this wasn’t another lonely night drinking alone with social media, you went to Toos and social media’d in RL! Toos is the place to be especially on a TOOsday night!

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