One thing every Spartan should know is proper classroom etiquette: Walk in fashionably late, grab a back corner seat, and immediately open your laptop to distract you from the upcoming lecture. Netflix in class is too obvious, though, so your priority is to learn useless and inaccurate facts about yourself from a throng of Buzzfeed quizzes. You may already know what Mean Girls character you are, but now you can step up your game and take a The Black Sheep quiz to learn just how prepared you are for a year at MSU.
Check the box adjacent to the statement(s) that apply to you.
 I have purchased books for the classes that require them.
 I have followed @BlackSheep_MSU on Twitter.
 I have completely unpacked.
 I have proof that, despite my true age, I am, in fact, 21 or older.
 I am the proud owner of season tickets that allow me to see last year’s Rose Bowl Champions play seven games.
 I have consumed at least a beer a day to prepare my liver for its upcoming beatings.
 My residence contains ramen noodles, pizza rolls, and cheap beer.
 I’ve explained to my parents time and time again that it’s perfectly normal to add a fifth year.
 I have a small reserve of cash stored away for when the MSU Parking Police inevitably find me and repeatedly penetrate my hindquarters with a roll of parking tickets that were written for reasons unknown.
 I have a healthy supply of condoms rescued from the third floor of Wilson Hall.
 I have significantly decreased my moral values.
 I have paid the required State News tax despite the obvious truth that not even Lou Anna K. can stand reading the “news” that institution spews.
 I definitely haven’t been getting those emails giving me a “friendly reminder” that I forgot to enroll and pay my dues before their deadlines.
 I know what classes I’m in.
 I am aware of the general area of where the classes I plan on attending are located.
 I have taken a screenshot my class schedule so I’ll be able to check to see where my classes actually are come December.
 I have some sort of makeshift beer pong table that can be accessed easily at all times.
 I have Febreeze stored somewhere so I can eliminate the smell of cheap beer, weed, and broken dreams from my home. Unless I live in Cedar Village, in which case that’s a lost cause.
 Conrad’s number is saved in my phone as “bae” or something similar.
 I have at least one extra couch stored somewhere, just in case I see a fire that needs fueling.
If you checked 0-5 of the above: You are the ultimate procrastinator. Your feat is impressive, but you really need to get your shit together. Do you even college?
If you checked 6-10 of the above: You know that as long as you’re in the city of East Lansing with a cold brew in your hand, everything will work itself out. You’re an expert at getting by with zero money and effort. Don’t forget all those meetings that give away free food.
If you checked 11-15 of the above: Sounds like you’re exactly where you want to be, and that’s great. However, make sure you let loose and make bad decisions in the near future. The Black Sheep is always looking for great party pics and you’re the kind of person we want to feature.
If you checked 16-20 of the above: Not to be an asshole, but you’re trying way too hard. We get that you’re excited to be a part of the greatest set of college chronicles since Van Wilder, but you’re overpreparing for a life of underpreparing. Relax a little bit. These are the best years of your life – don’t waste them.