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Top 10: Worst Boulder Foods to Wake Up Next To

 

 

The only thing better than you favorite drunk snack is eating it in bed. The issue is, you’re taking a big risk by munchin’ under the covers, and if you pass out you’re literally going to be in for a rude awakening.

 

10.) Fat Shack:
There’s nothing better before bed than a sandwich stuffed with all your favorite deep fried snacks! If you arise cuddling the sandwich wrapper like a blanket, you’ll quickly realize that you’ve made a big, greasy mistake. If you don’t, give it an hour and your big, greasy farts will let you know.

 

9.) Tra Ling’s:
Sleeping in a bed of soy sauce and rice? Maybe a concoction of General Tso’s (or Gao’s or whatever it is) and Crab Rangoon is prinkled over your pillow case. Whatever your favorite “Chinese” treat is, it’s never fun to wake up with the cream from your “Sum Yung Gai” in your hair.

 

8.) Pizza:
When you’re drunk, slathering yourself up with some spicy ranch seems like a great idea, and maybe even a little kinky. But waking up with streaks of spicy ranch and grease all over your sheets like a pollock painting is much more nasty than it is artistic.

 

7.) Cookie Dough:
Has anyone actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough? You don’t want to find out. This mistake could only end up on a scale from bad to worse, ending you up in a bed full of slime and chocolate chips, or a bed in the hospital.

 

6.) Ice Cream:
Either you ate it all and you’re in for a rough morning, or you forgot to put it away and you’re covered in a nice milky sweat. Either way you know that some of your delicious, melted treat is going to end up soaking into the mattress.

 

5.) Eggs:
Just a whole carton of eggs. Why did you bother grabbing those? Go make sure there isn’t a hot pan on the stove still, you dumb bastard. Too bad you don’t have any more eggs left, because once you rolled over onto them that was goodbye to those eggs and your sheets.

 

4.) Peanut Butter and Jelly:
Getting into bed and forgetting that you left the on crust, which you hate oh so much, is the worst. Waking up in a graveyard of pb&j crust and peanut butter and jelly glueing the sheets together is even worse though. Now you are gonna have nightmares of sleeping buried under crust for the rest of your life. And probably also ants

 

3.) Cheez-Its:
Waking up covered in orange dust would be a scary, yet tasty, surprise. No matter how hard you try, you are always going to end up with some crumbs in the bed. And when pass out munching on the Hot and Spicy ones try not to get that powder in your eye, and don’t expect to be in for a pleasant morning.

 

2.) Alphabet Soup:
Watch as little insulting words form in the morning while you’re cleaning up the mess that your stupid drunk self made. At least you didn’t wet the bed yourself again!

 

1.) Jar of Pickles:
Though you may think the brine is a tasty substitute for the good old glass of water, think again. This salty treat will have you waking up with your head in a jar, and some extra pickles in your pants.

 

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