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Top 5 Spring Break Destinations for Daring Dentonites

 

Spring Break is the one week of the year that, as a college student, you are given a free pass to become as much like Zac Efron in every role he’s played in the past three years as possible. Debauchery is a given, shenanigans are guaranteed, and insurance must be purchased pre-trip. The Black Sheep writing staff, all our worldly wisdom, have certainly been on a crazy spring break adventure or two (only one or two, we’re not that old). So, we’ve used that experience to cook up a terrific guide of destinations that any UNT student can go to for a great spring break on a budget!

 

5.) Denton Storm Drains:

 

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Ah, the Catacombs of Denton, where the dead have been buried for generations, ever since Denton was founded in 1253 by the most hopelessly lost British garrison in history. Rumor has is that these hallowed tunnels are haunted by spirits, and, even more terrifyingly, drunk and rowdy college students. If you like a spooky time and the possibility of a prison rules rumble in the sewer, then you might be interested in this low-cost locale, unless you’re a cop and and/or with sheriff’s office, in which case there’s nothing, nothing at all in the storm drains. Go away.

 

4.) Alternative Alternative Spring Break:

 

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UNT offers the Alternative Spring Break option, where one can do volunteer work in another city. However, we’re please to announce the Alternative Alternative Spring Break, where you can jam out to your favorite 90s alt bands, such as the tragically unsung heroes pictured above, Sugar Ray. This concert series features all your old favorites, such as Sixpence None The Richer, Bush (playing their seminal album “Sixteen Stone” in its entirety), Smash Mouth, Sixpence None The Richer, Live (playing their hit single “Lightning Crashes” seventeen times in a row, getting progressively quieter every time), Candlebox, and Sixpence None The Richer. Frost those tips and practice that yarl, baby, we’re heading back to the glory days of 1997!

 

3.) Chernobyl:

 

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Due to the perennial and wildly popular field schools in China, Ghana, and the British Isles, the Geography Department is now offering a fun new option where you can get six credits during spring break! The department has decided to branch out into Eastern Europe with a fun program in Chernobyl, for really cheap (who knows why)! You only have to spend two days total doing research in there too! Six hours of credit for ten minutes of work! What a deal! And if you do extra credit, they just give you a degree because, and I quote, “it won’t do you much good soon anyways.” Don’t know what that means, but you’d be foolish not to seize this opportunity and spend as much time in there as you can!

 

2.) Scrappy’s Lovin’ Arms:

 

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Though the waiting list is long, there’s no hotter place to be than in Scrappy’s Nest, a bubbling brew of sensuality and ruffled feathers. Every year, Scrappy selects one lucky student to spend Spring Break with him, where they play Settlers of Catan, watch reruns of The Wire and try to figure out how to kiss a beak. Though the week is never long enough, it’s always a memorable one, and no UNT student leaves still wishing they’d had the grades to get into UT.

 

1.) Traffic Jam on I35E S:

 

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Except for gas money, this is the cheapest destination of all! It costs nothing for lodging and nothing for food, because you just do nothing! You get your car halfway between Denton and Dallas and then just sit there for a whole week without moving  at all! What a fucking deal!

 

As college students/philosopher kings, we at The Black Sheep try to be attuned to what UNT students want. We hope we’ve delivered some truly…unique destinations for you to visit.

 

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