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Top 5 Ways to Sneak Booze into GVSU

 

Grand Valley State University is known for its MIPs, given that we all like to get turnt but sadly our campus is a dry one. However, what campus faculty doesn’t know won’t kill them. We have compiled a list of the best, most sneaky ways for you to sneak your hooch on campus, and totally get away with it.

 

5.) On-the-go Containers:

 

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It’s seriously common sense to just put stuff in a water bottle. Any kind of alcohol that’s clear can easily be put into your favorite on-the-go container so you can sip in class without any suspicion. It doesn’t even have to just be a water bottle!

 

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Go with your favorite mason jar, colored ones are better as you can get other kinds of alcohol and just pass it off as juice. Maybe even slip some in a pop can/on-the-go apple sauce pouch and you’re all set. The key here, though, is to make it look factory-sealed.

 

4.) Gummy Bears:

 

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This is a much tastier way to get that liquid courage onto our strict campus. Soak the gummy bears over night to make some awesome vodka shots to munch on during class. Nobody will be the wiser, especially since they sell gummy bears and stuff at POD. Plus, everybody knows that jello/gummy bear shots are better than the real thing, with all the same results.

 

3.) Tampons:

 

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Yes, it’s dangerous and gross (The Black Sheep does not suggest this), but it is always an option. Whether you are a boy or a girl, you have holes, holes that lead straight to your bloodstream and get you hella turnt in a matter of minutes. So, soak them cotton corks in your juice of choice and stick them up your hooha/bum. Or you can just butt-chug cough syrup if you don’t feel like waiting. Your choice, really. 

 

2.) Wine Rack:

 

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Wine racks aren’t just for wine. You can pretty much put anything and everything liquid inside them. But who doesn’t love drinking from boobs? Nobody will question the long, clear straw sticking straight out of your bosom, and if they do you can totally get them for sexual harassment. It’s a fool-proof plan. 

 

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If you’re a dude who doesn’t wear a bra, why not give alcohol flip-flops a go?

 

1.) Make It Obvious: 

 

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This is more of a reverse psychology thing, where you just make it so obvious that nobody actually believes that you’re getting smashed. So walk around with a bottle of Skyy or maybe a fifth of Jack. Everyone will be so shocked that they won’t even believe it to be the real thing. Or maybe, they won’t even notice. Sometimes being obvious is the best way to go unnoticed.

 

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