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Top 7 Places to Have an Orgy at UW-Madison

 

People always think of orgies as a dirty sexcapade occurring in a filthy rundown Super 8 motel with free breakfast in the morning. But orgies can take place in lavish, expensive hotels that sport five star room service, too. It doesn’t even have to be a hotel. You can turn any ol’ area into a sexy set perfect for a good old fashioned orgy, even on campus! There are seven spots in particular on the UW campus that you should really check out if you’ve been looking to participate in a quirky sexual rampage.

 

7.) Discovery Building:

 

discovery

 

Remember when we mentioned lavish orgies. Well people, they take place in this building. It’s like being fucked in the wilderness, but with a roof over your head and a coffee shop 15 steps from your sex party.

 

6.) Bike Path:

 

bike path

 

Longest. Orgy. Ever. Nuff said. Just make sure to watch out for oncoming bikers. Maybe invite them to join in your sexy fun time. The worst they can say is “Ew, no, what the fuck is wrong with you, you disgusting pig.” #worthit.

 

5.) Chocolate Shoppe Ice Cream on State:

 

chocolate shoppe

 

 

IMG_1587.preview

 

How do you make the best ice cream in town even better? Spread it over numerous strangers and lick it off them in sensual slow motion. Delicious.  Plus, who wouldn’t want to have a kooky sexy party underneath those works of art.

 

4.) A Gated Alley on State:

 

alley

 

Remember when we mentioned how not all orgies are ratchet and fancy orgies do exist? Well, ratchet orgies exist too. You don’t get much more ratchet than an orgy in an empty, barred alley, but that’s okay. The great thing about orgies is they can be anywhere, anytime, with anyone, and it’s totally acceptable (as far as orgies go). Have that ratchet orgy experience we all dream of, nobody’s judging you (well, we’re not).

 

3.) Entrance of Subway on State:

 

subway stairs

 

When you want your privacy, but also wanna fuck outside in front of a bunch of Subway customers. You got a cozy little hole just for your sexcapades, and if you wanna get kinky (which, it’s an orgy, so you do) you can use the stairs and railings in crafty, maybe even human centipede-like ways.

 

2.) Behind the Bleachers of the Shell:

 

behind shell blechers

 

Just tell your friends you’re going to the gym, cause like, you are, but instead of pumping iron you’re having group sex. Hardcore sex is still a workout, and it’ll be the ultimate throwback to making out under the bleachers of high school, but with a sexy adult twist.

 

1.) Memorial Union Construction:

 

construction

 

The perfect place for a theme orgy. Wear construction hats (and nothing else) and start fucking like animals. This isn’t for the light of sexual-heart however, as the loose gravel and scattered nails may cause more than just a hemorrhoid annoyance. If you think you’re hardcore enough for this, then you’re not hardcore enough for this.

 

Regardless of where you’re sexual relations with 4 or more individuals occur, always remember to practice safe sex. Wear a condom, respect your partner, stop when they say banana, etc. Stay safe, and have a sensually phenomenal time!

 

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