As the school year starts yet again, parties will be popping up with no one to DJ them except for those tone-deaf U of I heathens. Time to take matters into your own hands! Here are five rad songs you need on your custom playlist that will have all the DePaul freshmen calling up your freelance DJ service from the number you scrawled across the rear window of your mom’s car.
5.) Lisa Frank 420 – Macintosh Plus (at 1.5x speed):
Speeding up this December 2011 laid back jam changes it from a casual smoke hang song into a great rager track. Blend it into your more hardcore party tunes to get everyone in the mood to get rip roaringly drunk. Now is the time to have your first few post-pregame shots and set four alarms for work in the morning.
4.) I.D.G.A.F. – Blood on the Dance Floor:
Upbeat techno meets that unique emo sound in this hit by Blood on the Dance Floor. Its danceable beat, stunning lyrics, and sick rap breakdown are sure to make a big impression on your party guests, assuming they remember everything the day after. You’ll have people screaming, “What is this garbage?” and “Hand me the aux cord” before you know it!
3.) Collect My Love – The Knocks feat. Alex Newell:
This disco revival hit featuring the former Glee star brings old life into the new party scene. People did hella drugs in the seventies, so bring that mindset directly into your more-flammable-than-you-thought apartment. By the time you remember you disabled your smoke detectors a small fire will have broken out on the back porch, but who cares? It’s time to bring back disco! Everyone loves disco. Right?
2.) Dye Young – MatrixMarioX:
Ke$ha is old news, but video game soundtracks are steadily breaking into the world of party remixes. This Die Young/Splatoon Staff Roll remix by MatrixMarioX provides a relaxed party vibe to the end of your night, cementing you as a modern DJ who still keeps the classics around. You’ll turn a few heads as guests stumble through the line to the toilet, distracting everyone long enough to sneak in a quick bathroom break.
1.) Unknown Track – Unknown Artist
Slip a disguised version of this popular song into the end of your playlist to make sure everybody gets the hell out of your apartment at the end of the night, leaving you to take your celebrity beer pong shot from the peace and comfort of your beer-soaked floor.