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5 Things You’d Rather Do Than Take a BC Final

Sorry to burst your post-Thanksgiving bubble, but finals start in two weeks. That’s right! Two. Every BC student knows that study days and tests take up waaaaaay more time than they should, and it’s hard not to think of all the things you could be doing if only you weren’t stuck taking an exam. Here are five of those things.

5.) Run the Alumni Stairs 5 Times:
In the time it took you to sit through this four hour English exam, you could have run up and down the Alumni Stadium steps four, no, FIVE times! And right about now, exercising your quads off and letting off steam sounds a lot better than writing an in-class essay on Ulysses. God knows you need it: you haven’t exercised this whole finals week. In fact, all you did was sit in Bapst and silently shove Oreos in your mouth while playing paper toss on your phone. But no judgment.

4.) Hunt for Father Leahy:
Need a new way to waste time at BC? Grab a few friends and hunt for our dear president, who may or may not exist at all. Instead of sitting in O’Neil, writing your 25 page writing intensive paper on the social economics of Sesame Street, grab a flashlight, set out a trap of fresh grass seeds, and wait for a flock of priests to show up. One of them might be Leahy… but honestly, would you recognize him if he was staring you in the face? Probably not. Still, it beats having to hunt for sources you should have had months ago.

3.) Get written up for “Alcohol Paraphernalia”:
You may ask yourself, What is the stupidest, lamest thing to get written up for? That, friends, would be alcohol paraphernalia: AKA, a red Solo cup or a shot glass. Not even something cool, like four handles of Grey Goose or a Ziploc bag full of weed. Just an empty cup. Still, you’re so bored in this gen-chem final that you would rather go through all the formalities of getting your pong table taken than have to answer one more freaking question about hydrogen. Screw hydrogen!

2.) Declare pre-med as a junior:
Hey, if you’re going to take an L on this one final, might as well take an L on life in general. The craziest thing to do at BC that we can think of is to declare pre-med as a junior, but if it means not having to take this impossible exam with Tresch right here and now, you’re down to try anything. You’re so incredibly desperate to put this one exam off that you’d risk four more semesters of hell just to get to winter break early. Look, we never said it wasn’t a trade off.

1.) Eat every single White Mountain flavor:
When you’re straining your brain on the dreaded Orgo final, you should instead be freezing your brain with White Mountain. While you answer questions about elements and proteins, your mind is dreaming of hopping the counter, taking a scoop, and putting all that Cookie Monster directly into your gaping mouth hole. Who needs a cone? And don’t stop there! With all the time you’ve spent on this stupid final that won’t save your grade anyway, you could’ve eaten all the cakes, shakes, and scoops in the joint! Ah, one can dream.

Look on the bright side, at least winter break is almost here! That gives you a month to do all the time-wasting, mind-numbing things you want before it’s back to more tests, papers, and exams. Don’t you love college?

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