BC has long celebrated the tradition of trading in taking Presidents’ Day off in February for our beloved Marathon Monday. While we wouldn’t have it any other way, this is America; we aren’t the land of compromise. We didn’t compromise with the Brits, we didn’t compromise with the Germans, and we sure as hell didn’t compromise with the Confederates so why do we have to compromise on our days off? The administration has too long forced us to bank on snow days each Monday for an academic reprieve and so we’ve decided to give you the tools to take matters into your own hands with three miniature protests for Presidents’ Day. We may not agree with BC’s fascist attendance policies, but we also desperately need those points after what just happened with midterms.
Go to class hammered/ripped:
Fr. Leahy may be able to make you physically go to class, but he can’t make you be mentally present. Knock down a quick couple beers before your 10 a.m. and take an edible at lunch, then just coast through your Monday schedule. If you can’t have the day off you might as well trudge through it with a healthy buzz, and seeing as BC isn’t a dry campus and Massachusetts legalized recreational marijuana, (we think?) there’s no way this can backfire on you.
We defy the administration to prove any wrongdoing on your part. Just try to not split your head open on the Million Dollar Stairs. Bonus points if you boot and rally during your 50 minute Orgo lecture.
Remain wilfully ignorant of having class:
Less of a protest more just a way of justifying hitting your snooze button for the 11th time in a row, under the “assumption” that BC “respects national holidays.” It’s a truly beautiful thing when your own desires line up with some sort of movement and you can act selfishly and it’s viewed as progressive and #brave of you. Seriously though, if your bestie doesn’t have to go to class at their college how can you be expected to go to your classes? Roll back over you’ll get ‘em tomorrow, probably, maybe not, who’s to say? This is what our founding fathers would’ve wanted.
Eat meat on Friday during Lent:
Sort of a reverse hunger-strike, but is it a risk getting God involved in the protest? Sure it is. Does risking the possibility of eternal salvation over something as trivial as a random Monday off seem like too big a gamble? Maybe. But would an extra Monday off be worth it? You bet your ass. No pain no gain, you’ve got to risk it for the biscuit, and like four more stupid clichés. Basically short of trampling the lawn this is the most likely to get Leahy’s attention.
Do one of those and the administration is sure to probably not take notice, but you’ll know deep down you sort of stuck it to the man without actually getting yourself in trouble. Anarchy!
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