Single people, it’s time to freak out. Valentine’s Day is, well, tomorrow, and if you haven’t found a date yet, it’s far too late now. So what are you going to do Wednesday night when everyone else is eating at a fancy North End restaurant? Where can you possibly go to cry into your Ben and Jerry’s without people thinking you’re pathetic? Well, it turns out BC has a multitude of locations to pretend your not forever alone. Here are the six best places to eat at BC today where people won’t notice you’re on your lonesome.
6.) Your room:
Duh. The best way to avoid all those stupid, gross couples invading campus is to just stay home! All of your roommates already know you can’t find love, and besides, it’s not too hard to make some ramen noodles and call it a night. Pop open a bottle of seven-dollar wine, turn on a sappy rom com and hide from the world by staying in your eight-man. No one will think to question you!
The great thing about Hillside is that it’s always busy and the absolute hub for lower traffic. People will come, grab a coffee, and immediately shove their way to the elevators without so much as a backwards glance at you. By eating here, no one will notice that you’ve been “waiting for a friend” for over two hours because they can’t be bothered to care on their way to class.
4.) Upstairs of lower:
Everyone and their RA knows that downstairs of lower = talking, while the upstairs of lower = work. By climbing those oddly narrow stairs, you enter a totally different world where sitting alone is presumed to mean you just have a ton of work to do. So what if you give yourself away by crying into your Addie’s flatbread? Maybe your homework is just really hard!
3.) The rat:
Ah, the rat, where eating mac and cheese means sitting at a crowded table next to total strangers. But, in this case, sitting with randos totally works. To make it seem like you’re not completely alone in the world, just sit at the end of a table full of talkative sophomores and try to blend in. No one will know the difference, and your pride is safe!
2.) Next to St. Iggy:
Hey, it’s technically not eating alone if you’re eating next to a saint! If you find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day, just grab a wrap from mac and pop a squat next to BC’s favorite Jesuit, our man Iggy. People might just think you’re enjoying the brisk winter day instead of talking to an inanimate object. Just don’t expect him to make any moves on you: a) he’s a celibate man of God and b) he’s made of bronze.
1.) In a dark, empty classroom:
This is basically just hiding from the world, but whatever keeps you from having to explain to people that you’re updatable. Grab your food, tell everyone you need to study for a test, and find an empty classroom. By turning off the lights and eating in the corner, no one can see the tears stream down your face as you munch into a steak and cheese! It’s simple, it’s gold, and it’s for all you lonely eagles.
Well, there goes another Valentine’s Day spent hoping for a miracle. Don’t feel too bad, bachelors and bachelorettes, at least candy goes on sale tomorrow!
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