Most Beanpot crowds are nervous going to the big game, worrying that their verbal jabs won’t be Swiftian enough to parry their opponents. But The Black Sheep has you covered, with 6 insults that will leave BU sobbing on the ice.
6.) You call that drunk?!?:
A classic shot to the nerves of any true Bostonian, nobody could hear this taunt and dare to stay sober for the rest of the period. Beware, however, that it will likely trigger an arms race of beer-chugging madness because nothing insults a thick-skulled BU student like saying they’re not drunk enough. Stay ahead, for the glory of the Eagles!
5.) Let’s see what happens when you put a terrier in the same room as a motherfucking bald eagle:
This chilling reminder of the evolutionary superiority of the raptor will cripple BU’s will. Terriers aren’t really known for anything other than yappiness and lack of house training — it’s doubtful they could withstand the majesty of the greatest national symbol since Rome’s twin werewolf brothers.
4.) We’ve got God on our side, bitches!:
While this does reveal that the Beanpot outcome is predetermined, it also asserts a message — every shot from BC is guided by the shining breath of Jehovah to sail straight into the goal like that slow-ass goalie isn’t even there.
3.) Did you all do something with your hair today? IT’S FABULOUS!!!:
Bear with us on this one. Piling on the insults is all well and good, but they get stale after a while. Toss a random compliment into the pile, and BU will be so staggered and confused that your next witticism will sting even more. Whatever compliment you go with, be sure to scream it in a monotone, hostile boom, to make it clear that this is no ordinary compliment. It is but a portent of grimmer things to come.
2.) Your resume still sucks!!!:
If by some unholy miracle BU actually manages to score tonight, never fear! You can still leech all the joy from their victory. Just remind them that however this night ends, they’ll be tossed back into the barren, toxic waste of the current American job market. That’s enough to make anyone quit cheering.
1.) Sucks to BU!!!:
Nice one, champ! Bet nobody’s ever thought of this one before.
No matter the outcome (LET’S GO EAGS), you’ll be winning with these anti-BU insults. Yell them out loud and proud, and know that it really does suck to B U and not BC.