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The 5 Saddest Places to Eat Thanksgiving Dinner Alone at BU

For many students, the prospect of going home for Thanksgiving isn’t possible, as BU only provides 5 days off from class. If you’re stuck on campus this November 24 and are looking for a great location to cry into some potatoes, look no further! Each of our locations features convenience, novelty, and may or may not be closed on Thanksgiving Day.

5.) The BUS:

bus-thanksgiving

If you aren’t going home for turkey day but still want to feel like you’re travelling, hop aboard the BU Shuttle and ride it back and forth between StuVii and the Medical Campus. You can work off the calories you’re eating by running to catch the BUS after trying — and failing — to track it on the BU Mobile app, and add variety by trying to get off at an undesignated stop. The best part of eating dinner on the BU Shuttle is that, when you start missing your annual family argument, you can start chatting up innocent passengers just to see what happens.

4.) FitRec

fitrec-thanksgiving

Avoid the Thanksgiving Thirty by gobbling up your mashed potatoes on a stationary bike and devouring an entire turducken on an elliptical. The turkey coma may be an epidemic amongst couch-laying Americans, but you will be wide awake, and #woke, because it’s impossible to fall asleep when the looming threat of being flung off of a treadmill is overpowered only by the 24-hour news cycle broadcast on TV. As an added bonus, you can combine your profuse sweating with your tears for an extra salty, delicious beverage to accompany your meal.

3.) Commonwealth Avenue:

comm-ave-thanksgiving

Do you live near a four-lane road with two sets of railway tracks through the middle? Miss the sound of sirens, screeching public transportation, and several near-collisions every hour? Like to live on the brink of death, just for the adrenaline rush? Of course you do! Sitting in the middle of Comm. Ave, particularly at a busy intersection, is an exciting and extremely dangerous way to stuff yourself with soggy bread and assorted pies.

Every car that honks at you will remind you of your nagging parents telling you to do your laundry, especially if your mother is actually a sentient Hyundai Sonata. Cool off your soup with a gust of wind from passing cars, and don’t be afraid to heat things up on idling car engines at stoplights.

2.) The Esplanade:

esplanade-thanksgiving

Recreate the experience of an extended family Thanksgiving by feasting among the critters. Just like your weird third cousin, a variety of geese will take great pleasure in staring into your soul while you consume their brethren. Similarly, you can guarantee that your food will get stolen by a possibly rabid squirrel in an extremely rapid fashion, just like your siblings do at home! Did the honking of cars fail to trigger a snarky response to completing a myriad of chores? Surely the nagging noises of waterfowl will make you feel just like you do at home when you find out you have to do the dishes.

1.) The Charles River:

charles-thanksgiving-1

If your food is tasting bland, and you are feeling sad, add the unique flavor of untreated river gunk and a variety of plant debris to your green bean casserole. The mystery smells of the Charles will distract you from the fact that you are probably eating a Stouffer’s microvavable carnation on a holiday meal, and you can give thanks for the fact that as soon as you finish your meal, you can leave the frigid water. Literally drown your sorrows, as desired.

Bon Sad-ppetit!

If you are remaining in Boston this Thanksgiving and are looking for a definitely not-sad place to consume copious amounts of food, The Black Sheep Staff recommends Beehive (South End), Eastern Standard, and the slightly more affordable City Table (near Copley Square).

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