What’s squishy, has a blue and orange swirly design, and is tasty af? That’s right, a Tide Pod! While the general population, including scientific experts, state that consuming Tide Pods is a recipe for disaster, we couldn’t help but notice that the Tide Pod is already on Sunset Cantina’s cocktail menu. With a beverage as delicious this detergent packet concoction, it’s about time for these six other BU restaurants to play catch-up and incorporate a Tide Pod meal into their menu to make their dishes much more delicious to eat.
6.) GSU and Questrom Starbucks — The TPF (Tide Pod Frappuccino):
Packed with loads of super-concentrated amounts of detergent (aka syrupy goodness), this ultra blue and orange-colored beverage will have you and the seemingly 500 other Starbucks-crazed BU students waiting in line for hours to get their hands on one. The drink is finished off with ocean mist-scented suds that will be sure to freshen up your palate after consuming a greasy plate of Panda Express chow mein for lunch. Step aside, Unicorn Frappe. The BU biddies only have hours to post and come up with a basic caption for the #TPF on Instagram before the drink is completely washed off the menu.
5.) West Campus Chipotle — ChiPodle Chips and Tide Pods:
Because Chipotle is all about keeping their food local and clean, there should be no hesitation when they decide to incorporate Tide Pods bought from the local Target in West Campus into their menu items. Their signature chips, for instance, are paired with the delectable Tide Pod’s gooey detergent-filled center. Screw the queso. And the E Coli. Chips and Tide Pods will definitely be a mouthful of fiery and sudsy flavors that you’ll never forget.
4.) Domino’s — Endless Poddibilities:
Domino’s prides themselves on serving more than just pizza, so why not add some Tide Podsta primavera to the menu? However, in true Domino’s spirit, we can’t stop there. Tide Podmesan bread bites. Tide Podapple as a pizza topping (we can’t do pineapple on pizza either). The possibilities are truly endless. And with that 50% off discount on your total order using that legendary code RHETT, you won’t have to clean out your bank account for a meal from FlavorTown.
3.) Raising Cane’s — Tide Pod Toast:
Although similar in appearance to the buttery Texas Toast, the Tide Pod toast is lightly brushed with the ultra-concentrated detergent in the pod before being placed onto the grill to toast and bring out the laundry pod’s 3-in-1 unique flavors: detergent, softener, and stain remover. Why settle for just butter when a Tide Pod can bring much cleaner flavors to your toast? The Black Sheep staff Cane’t even with Texas Toast anymore.
2.) GSU Panda Express — Tide Podstickers:
If you’re feeling tide of ordering the same old Panda Express orange chicken every day for lunch at the GSU, then consider ordering the Tide Podstickers. Unlike its sister dish, the chicken potstickers, this promising dumpling has a specially formulated outer skin that will not only melt in your mouth, but also release the pod’s spring meadow, detergent flavors. Orange you glad that you can now spend your precious dining points on something else for lunch now?
1.) T.I.T.S. — Tide Pods in the Square:
A night of Allston Crawling in Boston’s shitty winter weather means that stopping by T.I.T.S. to get hammered is an absolute must. The bar’s Tide Podka (10% water and 90% other chemicals that you probably shouldn’t be ingesting), which tastes oddly similar to your laundry detergent, will temporarily take your mind off of the fact that you’re somehow already behind in your CH105 class despite the fact that the semester just started. Yet this delicious alcoholic beverage will have you running back to T.I.T.S. to crack open a cold one with the boys every Thirsty Thursday.
Until these restaurants around BU decide to put these delectable items on their menu, the Tide Pod will forever remain the forbidden fruit that we can’t have. As disappointing as it sounds, you’ll just have to be content with having Panda Express orange chicken for lunch. Bone apple teeth!
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