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Freshman Looking to Move Out of Rich Hall After Discovering Walk from West Is Too Far

Local BU freshman Gary Schultz is looking for someone living in Warren Towers, the Towers, or Bay State dorms to switch rooms with him after realizing that his walk to CAS from West Campus is “too far to endure” on a biweekly basis.

“I have 8 a.m.s in CAS on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it’s way too much work for me to get up those mornings,” Schultz complained. “Fifteen minutes is a lot, and I’m starting to get sore feet. Walking from class to class in high school was a lot easier… I sure do miss that… and my mom… and my dog…”

Schultz is willing to pay $100 to anyone who will switch rooms with him, indicating just how much pain he has been going through because of this daily excursion.

“I was going to spend that money on bed risers and some Chance the Rapper posters, but this is definitely more important,” said Schultz. “I know people love living in Warren and probably aren’t willing to give up their room unless there’s something else involved. If $100 isn’t enough, then maybe I’ll throw in some free Miller Lite or something. That’ll get people considering my offer, right?”

Schultz’s roommate, freshman Chad Jacobs, is secretly looking forward to a potential new roommate.

“He always comes back whining about the long walk, and I’m starting to get sick of it, especially when he asks me to help him check for blisters,” said Jacobs. “Also, he leaves his dirty socks on the floor at the end of each day, and they’re starting to pile up. What the hell, man? Our room smells terrible. AND I can’t bring any girls in here because he’s always massaging his feet. Gross.”

“Chad always lets me vent to him about the situation,” Schultz said gratefully when asked about his roommate’s thoughts regarding the dilemma. “If I do get to move out of West, then I hope my new roommate is as nice as Chad is.”

Schultz’s first preference for a new home outside of West Campus is Warren Towers, mainly for its central location.

“If I get to move to Warren, I can roll out of bed at 7:55 and still make it to class on time,” bragged Schultz, unaware that every other BU student who has lived in Warren Towers has already thought of that idea. “It’ll make my life a lot easier, and I can stop worrying about having to schedule an appointment with my orthopedist for my aching feet.”

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