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Politically Active Leaf: “November is the Fall of 2016”

On the night of November 6th, a heated, moderated debate occurred in the GSU between Jake Brewer and Nicholas Fuentes. In honor of today’s election, we decided to reach out to the silent majority of leaves on Bay State Road and conducted an interview with BU’s most politically active leaf, Maple Autumn III.

“I firmly and loosely believe that November is going to be the fall of 2016. Winter is coming, and if this election is any indication, by inauguration day in January I will be literally dead.” When prompted for clarification, Maple elaborated: “Things really started to heat up in July, as summer began and the parties nominated candidates for the presidency. Now that things are cooling off with the debates having ended, it feels like we are free falling until we have sworn in the next president.”

A fiscal liberal, Maple is a fan of the current economic stance of the US. “This past spring, things were going places, and if [the] Charles could sport a brand new emerald necklace, clearly the economy was on the up and up.” After several subsequent clarifications, we have been led to believe that Maple is in support of student government’s continued “spending of the green” on new organizations and students in need.

On the current political landscape at BU, Maple advocated for her rights. “I’m tired of being stomped on all the time. I feel like I’m just getting blown from place to place, and people are walking all over me. Leaves need to have a bigger say in this election, and in the campus culture at BU. We deserve electoral votes and priority registration for classes just as much as the next kid, and I won’t stop until I see some change.”

As of press time, Maple has submitted a proposal for a new student organization, Y.L.A. (Young Leaves for Action), and has recently relocated by way of leaf blower from the corner of Silber and Bay State Road to the sidewalk in front of the Bay State Dining Hall in an effort to spread her political views before the polls close.

If binge drinking is a major problem, then why does cheap beer come in packs of 30?:

 
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