Mugar is where BU students go to die. Is it a coincidence that its full name is Mugar Memorial Library? We think not. Upon entering this large 6-story building that clearly hasn’t undergone renovation since its construction in the 1960s, it’s a daily ritual for BU students to feel their souls leave their body in preparation study in this hellscape. Here are Mugar Library’s 7 Circles of Hell.
7.) Trying to use computers from the Mesozoic Era:
Put the fact that there aren’t nearly enough of them aside, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to log on really quickly to print out something before class, then good luck with that. It’s customary at BU to budget for at least 1-2 years of buffering time if you really want to get anything done on these dinosaurs.
6.) Accidentally playing footsie with the person sitting in front of your cubicle:
When you’ve been studying in a 3-by-3 cube for the past three hours, it’s understandable that people need to stretch. Still, that doesn’t make experiencing random kicks to the shin any more appealing.
It’s 1:45 a.m. in Mugar. You’ve fallen asleep in a cubicle on the 3rd floor. You wake up to something soft brushing the inside of your ankle. “Hmm, what is this curious feeling?” you ask yourself as you down look to investigate. There you have a half-empty bag of Cheez-Its, a small flash of gray scurrying away, and the horrifying knowledge that you’ve been touching the fur of a rat for the past five minutes. It’s more psychologically scarring than anything—if you haven’t already become patient zero for the next plague, that is.
4.) The Chomper:
For whatever reason, no matter where you choose to study in Mugar, you’ll always end up sitting next to the Chomper. This non-mythical beast has the impressive power of complete lack of consideration for the people around it. No one ever taught Chompers how to chew with their mouths closed. Plus, their favorite foods include anything of the loudest possible crunchy chip variety. They drink exclusively through a straw, always trying to get that sad last bit of coffee watered down by ice in their finished Starbucks coffee. Studying next to one of these creatures is one of the purest forms of torture that exists.
3.) The temperature inside when it gets one degree hotter outside:
A lot of cultures have an idea of what Hell looks like. It’s a hot fiery landscape full of tortured souls burning alive for their sins. But what these cultures don’t know is that their Hell is actually located in Mugar Memorial Library on the campus of Boston University. Although we’re not sure what BU students did specifically to warrant constantly being in a state of melting whenever the weather outside shows the slightest hint of not being freezing.
2.) The Basement:
It’s the study spot of choice for the frat bros of BU. Enough said.
1.) Finals Week:
In this, the deepest layer of Mugar Hell, every form of torture mentioned in the above circles multiplies by the amount of desperate BU students who naively flood the library thinking that they’ll actually be productive, let alone find a place to study in the first place. The Chompers multiply, the temperature hits record heights, and the rats come out in droves with all of the extra free food dropped on the floor for them to munch on.
You’ll most definitely hear the tortured crying of souls who’ve just figured out that they can’t save their GPAs. One by one you hear heads dropping on desks as they fall asleep into comas after extreme sleep deprivation. It’s truly hell on Earth.
So why do students continue to subject themselves to this torturous hellscape otherwise known as Mugar? We’ll never know. But hey, at least Hell is centrally located, right?
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: