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How Every BU College Can Win Over Their Professors

Professors can be very stingy in giving out good grades, especially with BU’s title as “the hardest college to get an A in.” Despite what you may have seen, heard, or believed, it is possible to get an A, you just have to win over your professor with your smooth moves and slick-talking persona. It’s not too late, so we’ve compiled a list of ways to win over your professor based on your college to truly cater to your grade-swindling experience.

College of Arts and Sciences:
Slide into their mental DM’s by mentioning that you’re really interested in the opportunities available in Core, and wink when you mention their favorite Greek philosopher. Alternatively, you can publish a novel based on every class you’re taking and deliver the best-selling copies to your professor’s office hours when you swing by to discuss your current grade of 36%.

College of Communication:
The best way to win over a COM professor is to never stop talking in their class. Don’t even let the professor get a word in edgewise – interact at all costs, and make sure you score yourself a nickname like “Tinder Dan” or “Erin from Wisconsin.”  You are learning how to communicate aren’t you?  Prove that you already know how to express your thoughts by talking nonstop for the entire class.  Your professor will be so impressed, you are pretty much guaranteed an A.

College of Engineering:
Casually tell your professor that you built a rocketship last night, and that you know someone who knows someone who knows Elon Musk.  Also sneak in a mention that you did the impossible by finishing all your homework and got a full 5 hours of sleep one night in January.  This is the greatest challenge to ever be attempted on BU’s Charles River Campus – the Medical Campus has a more rigid goal of four hours of sleep – and has never been accomplished by an engineering major before, so your professor will definitely be impressed.

College of Fine Arts:
Winning over your CFA professor is as easy as practicing the oboe for 20 hours per day, regardless of quiet hours in your building.  You should also consider writing, directing and producing a Tony-award-winning musical, or scribing an essay in calligraphy titled “Why the stars in Van Gogh’s Starry Night Speak to Who I am as a Person,” and ensure that it is displayed at the MFA to guarantee a great grade!

Sargent College:
Force one of your friends to pretend to get hurt in class and save them from their perils, or alternatively, discreetly and forcefully injure one of your friends and then publicly and gallantly help them recover.  This will show your professor that you are ready to be a doctor right now and that they should allow you to skip straight to medical school, where even more professor swindling awaits. Good luck schmoozing your way through the hippocratic oath with less than four years of education under your belt!

Questrom School of Business:
You could just wear a suit every day, but you probably already do. Your best course of action is to just buy out your professor or invite them to your afternoon smoke session outside the building. Then again, you could always just start your own company, make it onto the Fortune 500, and drop out before grades become relevant to your success!

School of Education:
Make as many school supply puns as possible. Need examples? Look no further than quick one-lines like “Blackboard is my favorite app” and “I got a three foot long ruler at a yard sale the other day.”  You will seem witty and personable, both of which are good qualities of a future teacher.

School of Hospitality Administration:
Make sure your professor is always watching when you help the elderly person cross Comm Ave, or whip them up a fine four-course meal before every exam… whichever is your best skill.

Kilachand Honors College:
Incorporate Nietzsche’s idea of the slave mentality into every single sentence you ever say and your professor will love you.  If that doesn’t do it for them, just shoot them a quick email with a 70-page dissertation on how socialism and modernity are incorporated into every co-curricular and KHC event ever. Seal the deal by actually showing up to the teas — that’ll really impress them.

Hopefully, these ideas bring you the A you (kinda) rightfully deserve! And if you’ve got any other tips, send ’em on over to @BlackSheep_BU, we need all the help we can get at this point.  

Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to our podcast with Twitter’s @Rad_Milk!

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